Daisy + Sage

Australia

girl
Loves music, nature, poetry, emotive writing, thinking
Passionate about the environment
Plays piano and cello, is Christian, tall
Joined April 2020

Proud member of the (unofficial) AHPU (Abnormal-Height Peoples' Union)

Message from Writer

Check out Dmoral13's piece, "Tips, Hints, & Other Miscellaneous Things to Know When on WTW" here: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/132307/version/254176
It's super helpful!

Also, I strongly encourage you to read ‘outoftheblue’ s informative piece, ‘Police Brutality In India Needs Your Attention’:
https://bit.ly/3dBxv5r

I smiled as you forged your beauty from my bloodshed

July 3, 2020

FREE WRITING

8
Only perfectly manicured nails/could conceal the witch’s razor-sharp fingers/that you used to rip my chest/only hands graced with flawless dexterity from years of braiding my greasy hair/could yield the strength to tear away my heart/only your sweet melodied voice/never singing to me/could subdue the screams inside my head to the sticky/cotton-candy whisper that gripped each strand of my aching lungs/but floated out as a too-sweet/fake laugh.

I didn’t realise/as I stared transfixed by the beautiful/blinding light you emanated/that your burning/molten hands were moulding my stolen heart into a bow/I didn’t realise that the agony in my bones/was not caused by my own/blushing cheeks/but the deadly heat you shone onto me/(though I suppose that radiation is invisible and death can come in many forms)/I didn’t realise that the new/crimson-red bow/which I envied so much/placed delicately atop your extraordinary/pomegranate hair/was just a demented token of defeat/stolen from my broken carcass and worn to my own funeral/I didn’t realise that you only pulled me close so that the flames of your braided curls could lick the sweet sinew of my soul/mostly/I didn’t realise that my blood was the dye for your stunning/raven hair/and your skin could be a graveyard.

I trusted you/so I smiled as you ripped my heart from my wooden chest/and in the cavity you carved a throne/you wielded the shadows and summoned demons/and with a flick of your jewel fingers you crowned doubt the ruler and let it devour my soul/my blood dripped from your diamond ring into your open mouth/but all I saw was your pretty/cherry-red lips/as you smiled at me/
I smiled back.
But you smiled rose bushes/while I smiled bubble gum/I blamed myself for always letting it pop but I never saw your thorns as they punctured my smile/I only questioned myself as I sat/lonely/beside you/I smiled/I thanked you/I was in awe of you/
as you forged your beauty from my bloodshed.
 
Heeello everyone! I need feedback! I’ve never written in this style before so this was very experimental. Not sure if I did it right... If you think this would be better in a different format or I did something wrong or you have any other feedback, please let me know! :)

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  • July 3, 2020 - 3:41am (Now Viewing)

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8 Comments
  • HeyThereRose

    This is a beautiful piece, the title alone is a work of art! I love the break in the line

    you smiled at me/
    i smiled back.

    It gave me the shivers (in a good way!)


    13 days ago
  • Tapasya

    Replying: thank you! Glad that someone likes my art......


    14 days ago
  • AutumnRain

    replying: aw! your comment on my piece warmed my heart, thank you!! and don’t worry you’re not the only person that stands in the bookshop taking in the smell lol. I can’t believe I haven’t come across your writing yet on the site, it’s so beautiful! also, I read your bio and we actually have a lot in common; I loveeee nature and the environment and I’m super passionate about global warming and standing up for our earth <3 I’m also a Christian and I play the piano and the clarinet along with dabbling in a few irish trad instruments! I love your username also, it’s so pretty, I just chose mine because it’s my favourite line from “Do Not Stand By My Grave And Weep” it’s a really beautiful poem that means a lot to me. I can’t wait to read to future works and I’m so happy to have discovered you! ^-^


    15 days ago
  • AutumnRain

    woah, this gave me chills! And go you for using a new format with the line breaks, you made it work really well and I found it added to the horror behind some of the phrases! well done :)


    15 days ago
  • kealoha

    replying: Oh no worries! You're totally fine :) Yess, I remember that song! lol


    15 days ago
  • Eblinn

    I like the format since it separates the sentences/ words that should be read together, enabling you to write a longer piece than you would normally do when each line comes beneath the other.
    Wonderful piece!!


    16 days ago
  • PureHeart

    the title itself is so very captivating. love the style you used in this, it's very effective and unique. you're detailed description is beautiful and overall i really enjoyable piece to read.


    16 days ago
  • Tapasya

    Heyo!!!
    Sorry but I don't know anything about the format you've used.... But..... Your context and your thoughts in this piece are woven intricately....
    It's lovely!!!!!!


    16 days ago