naomi ling

United States

she/her
est. 6/14/20

Message to Readers

why am i writing so much LOLLL SORRY

prune your cynicism with shears

July 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

23
yesterday as i scratched the bitterness out of my eyelids i met a mirage of you 
and i think i found him more charming 
he told me he loved my wit (not my body) and my mind (not my face) 
and maybe it would be better if i stopped rubbing my knees
with ash and sandpaper all the damn time

he took me to sunday tea, and he handled me like porcelain
you're fine china; babe, did you know that? chamomile or, perhaps, earl grey? 
he taught me how to rinse sins off tea leaves and
wash crimson underneath nailbeds and God, it felt like rejuvenation 

today i scrubbed my pores and rubbed grime off my irises 
because he told me so. and babe, why didn't you ever notice? 
(i undid the stitches on my mouth today because he told me so. 
i think i like myself talking more than you ever did.) 

he placed a diadem, raw and scrappy, on my head today 
i began to tell him you wouldn't approve, and you know what?

i think i'd rather you didn't. 
quite raw and unedited like most of my other poems (oops!). basically i was going for a girl whose s/o didn't treat her right and now she's only coming to realization 

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16 Comments
  • Hazen

    Mmm mm amazing! Well done.


    5 months ago
  • kealoha

    Wow, this is absolutely gorgeous!


    5 months ago
  • ava09

    this is beautiful and powerful...it's really amazing. "you're fine china; babe, did you know that? chamomile or, perhaps, earl grey?" ahh so powerful.
    replying: ohhh oops lol also sorry that happened that sucks. :/ sounds like your better off without them anyway. <3


    5 months ago
  • rainandsonder

    this!! this is so powerful, i adore it!


    5 months ago
  • Anlee

    I'm in loooove with your writing stylee <33 you're such a talented writer~


    5 months ago
  • AbigailSauble

    Your unique phrases makes one actually think about what they're reading. Excellent.
    Keep on! God bless!


    5 months ago
  • Ahsan Nizaam

    It happens to many a girls. But seldom holds on to it. It's beautiful


    5 months ago
  • EliathRose

    Replying: Of course! I'd be happy to give you a review. Just send me the link or title of the piece and I'll get to it as soon as I have some free time.


    5 months ago
  • Ella R. Baker

    I love this so much! I like the way you use your imagery. Don't worry about writing too much. (I'm not sure its possible, especially when it's as amazing as this. :D )


    5 months ago
  • D.G.

    go off! the first few lines ("yesterday...face) are incredibly powerful and beautiful. great job! you tell him!


    5 months ago
  • poetri

    this is so strong. "he placed a diadem, raw and scrappy, on my head today " is probably the most poignant line i've read in a while. lovely work.
    (reply: and yeah, my name is riley. thanks for all your kind words <3)


    5 months ago
  • inanutshell

    ooooh the metaphors here are so amazing, esp the second stanza with the 'fine china' and tea leaves bit! love the last few lines as well, kind of like getting the last word in the toxic r/s, really perfect !!


    5 months ago
  • mia_:)

    This is so good! You are such a talented writer! Never apologize; your words are beautiful and are always a joy to read!
    "he told me he loved my wit (not my body) and my mind (not my face) / and maybe it would be better if i stopped rubbing my knees / with ash and sandpaper all the damn time." Something about this line was so eye-opening. I know a lot of people who have changed because of their s/o and this was a piece that really highlighted it! :D


    5 months ago
  • Eblinn

    I love how you used words like scratching, scrubbing and scrappy throughout this piece. It ties everything together with a sort of raw feeling. It's so beautiful! <3


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    the tea leaves...mwah


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    ok NEVER apologize for writing too much bc between you and me *wiggles eyebrows* i do too. "yesterday as i scratched the bitterness out of my eyelids i met a mirage of you
    and i think i found him more charming"
    STELLAR opening lines wow. this is amazing and the mirage bit carries over so well throughout the rest of the piece. the ending line too... gosh i love this and the message behind it too <333


    5 months ago