seaomelette

United Arab Emirates

Heyo! I’m Lauren, a high school sophomore who loves reading too many fantasy novel series, listening to music, and eating a probably unhealthy amount of ice cream.

Message to Readers

Is there anything I can revise or improve? Please let me know, I really appreciate it! Also, if you'd like a review back, just feel free to comment a piece below and I'll be happy to help!!

the taste of regret

November 1, 2020

FREE WRITING

4
regret is a strange, sad feeling that
fills you up with the thought of things you
could have done but 
did not do.

                            ~

the thought of rain untasted,
falling softly into the dried oasis
arms outstretched to catch the pale drops that
drip past the gaps in your hands,
drop to the ground so
wasted.

the thought of paradises lost,
choked, destroyed, and ruined,
by massive metal monsters and whining
keening machines
lights whirring ceaselessly,
creatures screaming for their homes that are nothing more than
dust and ashes and smoky fires
dead pyres outstretched beneath the
sky.

                            ~

the thought of battered children trapped
in crumbling buildings,
huddled beside ruins,
scrabbling for the scraps of the future
they were denied.

the thought of a poisoned atmosphere
acid tears dripping, scarring
a CO2-choked sea, with corals
blanched, their vibrant souls stolen
of disappearing creatures and forgotten bones

                              ~

the thought of hope crushed
underfoot, bruised, and broken
trampled, flailing, desperate
painted black and weeping,
sobbing behind dark curtains,
hidden behind a gray miasma of 
our own creation. 




 
Here goes another foray into poetry! I'm a total helpless octopus at poetry, but I can at least scrabble my limbs together and try to produce something of note. xD 

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6 Comments
  • AJ - Izzy

    Wow, that first stanza really hit hard, this is so impactful. The line "blanched, their vibrant souls stolen, of disappearing creatures and forgotten bones", so beautiful, I can't, it's absolutely gorgeous <3


    3 months ago
  • seaomelette

    RE: ~wildflower~ and chrysalism & golden dusk - thank you for the feedback! And yep, I can see why the beginning stanza can be seen as unnecessary. I'll take another look at the poem and see if I can revise it further.

    RE: Rachaelgrace - thanks! And hahaha, that's great! I'm a big fan of cookie dough, vanilla Cornish clotted cream (super fattening, but the texture and creaminess is just perfect), and mango sorbet.


    3 months ago
  • Rachaelgrace

    This is gorgeous! I absolutely love it. So glad that I discovered you. Also... I LOVE ice cream lol. What’s your favorite flavor?


    3 months ago
  • mirkat

    wow, how impactful! i really really love how you used all of these natural events as metaphors/similies for our world being destroyed. it is very powerful and the last stanza just hit me so hard. the only thing i would say is that i'm agreeing with wildflower that the first stanza is unneeded. remember the whole show not tell thing? well that stanza is telling us how to feel and what's to come. the rest of the poem is so well written that we readers feel a sense of regret already. keep writing! <3


    3 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Also, just one point of improvement: I feel like the first stanza is sorta unnecessary. It does set the tone, but I feel like it’s something that most readers would already know. I think it would be more engaging if you just skipped that part and maybe started the next stanza with ‘regret feels like...’ or something, to get straight into the beautiful descriptive part. Just my own opinion :)


    3 months ago
  • ~wildflower~

    Hi! This is a beautifully written, powerful piece. I always love reading things about the environment, and this was one of the better ones I’ve read. You created some wonderful imagery and descriptions and the last stanza really hit home. I found this line to be especially powerful: “scrabbling for the scraps of the future / they were denied.” The ‘helpless octopus’ thing almost made me laugh out loud! Hey, if you’re an octopus at poetry, then you’re the smartest octopus ever :)


    3 months ago