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Message to Readers
I love the vivid descriptions of the characters, their surroundings, their thoughts--they're relatively simple in terms of structure, but they convey so much meaning! I actually got chills reading this piece--especially the part when Saturn and Mercury discovered their parents had died. I also really love the idea of two twins with special powers.
I think this prologue is an excellent introduction to the story--it provides readers with a first glimpse of Mercury and Saturn, how they're different from "Powerless" people, and ushers in the story. I don't think any additional details would be necessary. :)
Keep up the amazing work! I can't wait to read more!!