Peer Review by EetIshMeh (Malaysia)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


now hiring! reaching for unemployed social pariahs. do you feel alone? this job could be yours!

By: pineapples


FREE WRITING


job title: grief

job description: you will attend to those who have lost a loved one. you will cause them pain so that they know they are not a cold, uncaring monster.
you will be the reality check. because someone must be the reality check. 
you are grief. wherever you go, you will cause immense pain and sadness.

job requirements: (prior experience unnecessary)
~you will be required to be ready at all times of the day.
~you will be called for when anybody is brought in by death.
~you must have experienced grief at some point in your life.
~you must understand that it will be painful for everyone you touch. you are pain. but you must also understand that you will be necessary.
~it is imperative that you do not leave someone alone out of the kindness of your heart. you must banish all feelings from yourself.
~you must not give in to the pain that comes with dealing this much suffering to everyone around you. it is crucial that you understand that without grief, one could be molded into anything. without you, a psychopath may be released in the form of a vengeful sibling. a serial killer may be born from the death of a loved one. grief will keep them in check. you must keep them in check.
~this job will be demanding and taxing. you must research the dead without missing anything. 
~be aware that you will be working closely with death. you may not ask her for anything. she will never owe you favors. she is nothing but the deliverer of your clients. do not make personal connections with her.
~this will be a difficult undertaking. there is no denying it. but if you are certain that you meet all of the above requirements, you will be asked to meet with death and sadness on the corner of main street and mortem. you will soon be very familiar with this place. this is the mortuary.

any and all breaches of contract will result in your swift demise.

salary: you payment for your lifelong service as grief will be an extended life. you will live as long as death lives. for now, you are forever. 
(understand that this extension of life does not make you immortal in any way. if you are caught in a deadly situation, your body is still mortal. and you will face death.)

application: we have already received you application. when you saw this flyer, you met opportunity. they have brought us your application. if you have read this far, you know that you have been hired.

it is vital that you understand: this is not a job offer. this is your notification of hiring. tomorrow will be your first day. 
if you do not wish to accept this prestigious job as grief, you will still go to the corner of main and mortem tomorrow. death will meet you there.

idk, bro, this was really fun to write,,,
 

Peer Review

All the nice, morbid, mysterious lines. It's a nice change from the fantasy stories I normally read and write.


I think that the level of mystery and vagueness is perfect for this piece. It makes you wonder just the right amount and implies rather than explains. Beautiful.


No additional comments.