Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
tw: this deals with religion and references the holocaust
i haven't written about my religion in a while, so i decided to spin sunny's challenge to talk about my customs and such! :) i hope you enjoy; i don't particularly love this piece and it is a VERY rough draft, so please tell me what you think!!!!
felt like republishing, what can i say?
i didn't feel like explaining all of my references in the footnotes, so if you have ANY questions, i'd love to answer them! just ask away in the footnotes! <3
I love how the author conveyed a lot of things about their religion and their own thoughts about the religion, all the while maintaining the avatar of a young kid, and that is spectacular.
Maybe a bit more about your family? How they see the religion, their thoughts towards it? maybe add a part about you and your grandmother reciting prayers together, I guess it would give it a sort of warm feeling and would give it a nice tone overall. Also, the thing about a little simplifying, like I also pointed out in the highlights. Though feel free to ignore all of this crap, and just go on with whatever you feel like. <3
Great Work! I would, of course, look forward to more of your pieces :D