mia_:)

United States

13 || she/her || wtw's resident adoptee :)

let's be friends! :) <3

mochi waffle :D

est. march 5, 2020

Message to Readers

tw: this deals with religion and references the holocaust

i haven't written about my religion in a while, so i decided to spin sunny's challenge to talk about my customs and such! :) i hope you enjoy; i don't particularly love this piece and it is a VERY rough draft, so please tell me what you think!!!!

felt like republishing, what can i say?

i didn't feel like explaining all of my references in the footnotes, so if you have ANY questions, i'd love to answer them! just ask away in the footnotes! <3

daughter of your ashkenazi ways #childofyournation

August 27, 2020

FREE WRITING

28
/ i am the child of twisting calligraphy / stain the cow hide and call it sacred / finger tracing my place in my siddur / 
אַשְׁרֵי יוֹשְׁבֵי בֵיתֶךָ, עוֹד יְהַלְלוּךָ סֶּלָה / the words feel like home on my tongue / still, i stumble over accents and my face burns with shame as i am corrected / i bear the weight of mitzvot on my back / please, let it flood into my actions / count your pomegranate seeds and always come up short of 613 / i am the child of kiddush and kaddish and i let my language flow from my lips /

/ i am the daughter of mezuzot / kiss the doorframe of your gates / your slanting body reminds me of everything i stand for / וְאָהַבְתָּ, i have loved you / i am the daughter who forgets / spanish is more useful, anyway / but i feel a prickling shame to have forgotten my mother tongue / i am the daughter who time left behind / next may next may next may / am i the only one under the sun to have a bat mitzvah at age fourteen? / i hate being different and yet i crave it, but not in this way /

/ i am the little girl who hangs produce from the thatched roof of the sukkah / shake the lulav and don't forget to flip the etrog / i am the little girl who cannot fold hamantaschen to save my life / nor can i eat the challah that seems to always be baking in the oven / i am the little girl who asks questions / not just why do we light eight candles? / or why do we fast on yom kippur? / i am the little girl who wonders why must we always be staring into the face of adversity? /

/ i am the baby swaddled in a tallit / fingering the tzitzit between curious fingers / i am the baby with ancestors who were exterminated, like pests / i am the baby who watches yahrzeit flames dance and wonders why / i am the baby who casts her sins to the ducks / and, yet, i still let myself clap with joy when my sister spots a turtle in the water far below / i am the baby who humanity forgot about / countless events missed because people won't respect me / i am the baby who sometimes fears for her life / slurs tattooed on my forearm / will they ever fade? / i am the baby who reads from sacred scrolls, but also kindle books too / we're not that different / can i ever forgive humankind? /
My family isn't super religious, but I do feel very connected to Judaism. I find it fascinating to learn about the cultures of others, so if anyone has questions about anything I wrote about, feel free to ask! There is just so much, so I don't feel like writing it all in the footnotes, but I would be happy to answer ANY questions! <3

this is a sequel to sunny.v's elegant daughter of asia, which I definitely don't do justice. I tried to mirror her format, but I switched two of the stanzas lol. 

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25 Comments
  • beth r.

    this is so beautiful!
    re: thank you!


    about 23 hours ago
  • Paisley Blue

    Re: so glad you found my piece helpful! Good to hear from you, I haven't seen you around much lately :) if you ever have any questions, lmk and I will do my best to answer!


    4 days ago
  • mirkat

    okay i read it 3 times.... and now this part is the most butiful, impactful part for me: "/ i am the baby with ancestors who were exterminated, like pests / i am the baby who watches yahrzeit flames dance and wonders why / i am the baby who casts her sins to the ducks /" gosh, i understand so freaking much! the holocaust (2 grandparents and 3 of my great-grandparents and 4 cousins died) and yahrzeit candles and tashlich and this struck a chord in me.... i love your writing so much. so.... i am sorry for ranting and stuff but thank you for writing this. <3


    28 days ago
  • mirkat

    i-- wow. this made me cry... i'm also Jewish and found so much solace and beauty and power and emotion in your words. you refrenced so many parts of being jewish and i totally felt like i belonged while reading this. now i'm not that great of a jew and couldn't read the hebrew without sounding it out and asking my brother (he's preparing for his bar mitzvah rn), but i just love that you added the hewbrew in. i am so glad i discovered you, your writing is electric and like netles int my soul almost if that makes sense. it is so amazing to meet some fellow jews around here and no, you are not the only one having a bat mitzvah at 14! a lot of my friends are.... i wrote a piece about having my batmitzvah a while back called journey to the bima that was so cheesy and not deep at all. this is well... next level amazing beautiful stuff. so wow.... i love this so much. i'm going to read it again if that's okay.... wipe away my tears okay. welllllp i wish you a late shanah tovah, a mazel tov for your up coming bat mitzvah, and an early shabbat shalom. <3<3<3


    28 days ago
  • crystalline•galaxies

    wow. i just stumbled onto your account, and this piece is absolutely gorgeous. the formatting is fantastic and everything works together so, so smoothly. i'm in love.


    about 1 month ago
  • Just_A_Memory

    Amazing! Also, loving the new pfp!


    2 months ago
  • Forever Your Loving Friend and Servant

    Replying: Thank you.


    2 months ago
  • Forever Your Loving Friend and Servant

    Replying: Yes, I'm sorry, and will fix my mistakes ASAP.


    2 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Eek!! That's amazing!! ;D


    3 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Replying: That's awesome! I still go to Jewish day school — we've never done it in school though, just at home. So cool that you did!


    3 months ago
  • Century Friend

    Nice to see a fellow Jew around here :) I think several other people in the comments quoted this line, but “count your pomegranate seeds and always come up short of 613” — I love how you took something that people literally do (I’ve usually given up halfway through XD) and seemingly wove it in as a metaphor. I also loved that you put the beginning of Ashrei in the first stanza. It was what caught my eye, and then the title.
    The whole thing is beautiful. You referenced so many different aspects of Judaism, and needless to say I related to a lot of this piece. The section that talks about the Holocaust and antisemitism was particularly moving — “i am the baby who watches yahrzeit flames dance and wonders why.”
    Thanks so much for sharing!


    3 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: I'm not gonna reveal who had it right yet, but I think you have a typo in your comment hehe.


    3 months ago
  • spurtsofdarkness

    just submitted a review, you'll have it in a couple of days hopefully :)


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: LOL anytime you ask an american about Las Vegas we’ll just go ....*exhale*


    5 months ago
  • Cheshire Cat

    Replying: ya I got Pinterest. What's ur user name


    5 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    This is absolutely beautiful!!!
    "count your pomegranate seeds and always come up short of 613 /" *gasps* this is such a beautiful picture
    " the words feel like home on my tongue / still, i stumble over accents and my face burns with shame as i am corrected / " this is just wow TALENT!
    I relate so much because my parents have different languages they were brought up with but my mom also speaks my dad's language and he cant understand my mom's language.So first I spoke my mom's language until I was like 4 but I couldn't speak to my dad so everyone had to speak with me in my dad's language. Then I had to learn english so I got confused with all the languages and as I got older my sister and I stopped speaking my mom's language so my dad could understand. And so we can't speak it well anymore as we used to speak ot fluently! We're trying to speak more often now so we can get back into it,but it's hard! And so my point is when we speak with family I feel so ashamed because I can't speak fluently anymore. So I'm in love with those lines because I relate so much.
    Also I agree with sunny's first comment, she always puts everything perfectly!
    Beautiful poem
    Sorry for my rant,I just thought maybe you'd feel better that I relate? Idk sorry ok bye


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: aaack thank youuu ;-; a Queen? haha noooo. honestly, glad I could show you the butterfly effect! it’s super super interesting and really beautiful to visualize, you should look it up!! *hugs you back and frowns as an earthquake starts*


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: don’t be sorry for ranting! you can always always vent to me if you want. i’m so sorry about the postponing :( it truly sounds like fun! i was invited to one once (but i couldn’t make it) so it’s delightful to hear about the dance! manifesting all the good luck rn for you that you’ll get to celebrate soon~
    ps high key kinda jelly that there are so many cool age-celebrations in different cultures but absolutely none for me :(. for example: your bat mitzvah (as you’ve described), a quinceañera (hispanic celebration for 15 y/o girls! super fun, been to a couple), and debuts (a filipina celebration for 18 y/o girls!) i’m sure there’s more, but there are ZERO celebrations like this for viet girls! i suppose i’ll make do with the american tradition of sweet sixteen, but that’s just less special :(. anywho: ily too!!


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    LOL ANNE hehe sorry~
    and also: what chrys said! your bat mitzvah? :( i don’t know what it would’ve been like, but i hope you get to make up for it somehow!


    5 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    i fricking love this challenge partly because you get to see everyone's different cultures. you introduced a lot of new elements to me, which i eagerly soaked up because your writing is absolutely gorgeous what. this has got me interested too. i love love love this thing, your 'questioning' yet consonance with your religion, you displayed it absolutely stunningly. this is absolutely amazing <3
    also, i heard you missed your bat mitzvah this year? :(


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    *what sunny said* seriously though she always beats me to the long ranty comment lol. this makes me think of what my mom was raised around. she's not a jew, but she lived in israel until she got married.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    AAAAAH THIS IS GORGEOUS. let me start off by saying how absolutely honored, blessed, grateful, etc, thesaurus help me, *sweats nervously* I am to have you partake in my challenge!! this is exactly what I was hoping for—people sharing their culture and heritage and being proud of its beauty and meaning to them, whatever that might be! i’m sad to say that I only know textbook levels of Judaism, so I haven’t had much acquaintance with the culture of it, but this piece makes it sound so vibrant and vivid!
    first: i LOVED the characters (? I’m so sorry, I don’t know the name of them! ;-;) in the first stanza. second: “ count your pomegranate seeds and always come up short of 613 / i am the child of kiddush and kaddish and i let my language flow from my lips” aaah i’m not aware of what the pomegranate seeds symbolize, but that’s just such a gorgeous image? and the languages on your lips...really brings it all back!
    “ i am the baby who watches yahrzeit flames dance and wonders why” THAT’S JUST SO PRETTY. the image of the baby and the flames...movie star level. question: what are yahrzeit flames? :O
    “ i am the little girl who cannot fold hamantaschen to save my life / nor can i eat the challah that seems to always be baking in the oven” are hamantaschen and challah foods? they sound so lovely, and the way you weave them into your heritage is just brilliant!
    thank you so much for letting me see your culture! it was gorgeous through and through, truly a new and refreshing experiences! thank youuuu <3 so lovely~


    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    I think this piece is amazing! I feel like a learned something.


    5 months ago