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Message to Readers
Is there anything that's too vague or unclear? Confusing? Strange? Anything I can revise? Please let me know! :)
Your descriptions and imagery in the piece are very well-written! The way you describe the ocean and the landscape really helps the reader picture everything very well. The concept of a ruined, dystopian earth is also wonderful!
We get a nice glimpse into Jen's mind, as she imagines what the world used to be. Similarly, consider adding in Ari's thoughts. As someone who has never seen the seas or the world as it used to be, what does she think of as she looks at the landscape? Does she try to imagine what the seas looked like? Does she think of how it must've looked with greenery around? Adding in Ari's views could certainly benefit the story, especially as it is in the third person point of view.
This is a wonderful piece and I'd love to read another draft if you write one. Do let me know if you have any questions! All the best with your writing :)