pineapples

United States

Pineapples
I love reading and writing (obviously)
he/they, they/them preferred

"have I killed my thoughts right before their prime?
have I bit my tongue one too many times?
have I said it all the way I really meant to?"
~ben platt

Message to Readers

so um, this weird poem-like piece kinda sucks, and i don't really like it (and it's ~very personal~)
so chances are, i'll take it down later
but for now, here ya go...

shattered glass | a pride piece

June 25, 2020

FREE WRITING

9

i'm in a fake closet,
a closet of glass.

or so i thought.

but now i realize.
i was outed.
the illusion of the glass closet
has been shattered.

i'm not sure what happened,
but suddenly,
one day,
everyone knew i was gay.

and i accepted that
without realizing why.
i accepted is as a blessing.
the dread of coming out
was gone.

i am wiser now,
and i realize.
it was a curse
diguised as a blessing.
it's not because i fit into the stereotype
that people knew i was gay
(because i don't
fit the stereotype)

it was because of him.
i'd come out to four people prior.
one with a particularly open mouth.

i was outed.
to four people.
at once.
by him.


i smiled and moved on.
and the next day,
everyone knew.

i often wonder what happened,
but it matters no more.

the fact of the matter is
i was outed.

because
at school, i am out
although without my permission.

and at home i want to be out
but i cannot break free
of this closet of glass.

he robbed me
of the ability to tell people.
to tell people my secret.

he robbed me of my trust.
and now.
everyone at school knows.

but my family does not.
because i cannot bring myself
to tell them.
because my trust is gone.

one blink
and the whole school knew.
one blink
and my trust was gone.
one blink
and now i cannot
tell anyone else.

i know i can trust my family
but he robbed me of that
that knowledge is not enough.
i am no longer reassured
because
trust is gone.
idk, okay, sure, this happened lol *laughs in pain*

for those of you who don't know what the glass closet is, it's where you either never actually had to come out as gay because people just knew, or where you're kind of open about it, but some people still just don't know (i think, i might be wrong, this is how i define it)

Print

See History
  • June 25, 2020 - 5:01pm (Now Viewing)

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

4 Comments
  • sunny.v

    i’m so sorry that you were robbed of this. it’s horrible—i wish you all the best in the future, love. <3


    5 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    it's terrible that so many people have to go through this.
    they're very brave to write about this. <3


    5 months ago
  • HelpMe512

    ugh this sucks! sorry you had to go through that!


    5 months ago
  • inanutshell

    it really sucks that this happened. i didn't know the glass closet was a thing before this, glad i know now. you're absolutely right to say you were robbed, this piece captures that and your silent anger very well.


    5 months ago