Peer Review by Wicked! (India)

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The Lighthouse

By: Trevor Richards


FREE WRITING

In silence you rest on a boat, drifting out on an infinite ocean lit by not sun. It is night, but there are no stars in the sky. All is black; the only light is that of a lantern hanging from the mast. Its glow is only enough to see the boat in which you sit, and the water on which you travel. You cannot hear the waves, for here the ocean does not stir.  

Eventually you will reach a distant grey shore, a forgotten island from which an old lighthouse climbs ever upwards, so high you cannot see the top. It is old, but its ascent is straight and true. Stairs wind around the outside, a rusted metal walkway bolted firm to the rough stone wall. You grip the railing; you begin to climb.

That was a long time ago. You are still climbing now; you do not know how long you have climbed for. You cannot see the island below. You cannot see the stars. Maybe you will, eventually. Maybe you will finish your climb, and find the light of the tower at the end. Maybe.

I'm thinking that this is a metaphor for purgatory, which would be clearer if I had finished the pieces for heaven and hell (yes, I am copying the Divine Comedy).

Peer Review

The concept of this piece is brilliant! A metaphor for purgatory? Yes, please. The imagery you've used is delightful, and so is the diction and phrasing. The second-person narration also works really well here.


Perhaps you could add in the thought process of the narrator here? Do they remember their life? Do they think about all the things they could've done but couldn't? Do they have any regrets? Are they happy? Missing their loved ones? Alternatively, are they confused as to why they are here? Do they try to think of why they're here but don't remember anything?


Reviewer Comments

This is a wonderful piece and I'd love to read another draft if you write one. Do let me know if you have any questions! All the best with your writing :)