Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
Not the best title, but I couldn't think of anything else :P If you wrote this, what would you title it?
First off, I love the sensory details you weave in, they add to the tone of the piece and really emphasize the feeling of "a perfect day." I especially loved the line: "The sun wrapped its golden rays around her, and the wind gently blew delicate, pink, petals across the path." You did a wonderful job alternating between different senses, too. The different sights, sounds and smells included really let me as the reader feel as if I was there with Eliza -- wonderful job! I also think you did a spectacular job developing Eliza's character throughout the piece, showing how she is driven to accomplish the dream of opening a bakery, and how she worked hard in order to do so. In a way, this piece showered me with a nostalgia for something I've never experienced. I think that the reason this happened is because you did such a great job creating this warm, comforting feel in the words you wrote.
From what I can tell, Eliza has a very persistent personality: she's determined to open a bakery, she is set on making each day be "the perfect day." Through the wonderful sensory details you weave in, the powerful verbs, and uses of figurative language, I can definitely sense the quintessential tone of the piece; the ecstasy and joy Eliza is finding in pursuing what she loves. Not to take away from this, but what I'd love to know is what struggles Eliza had to face in order to get to the point she is at now as well as what problems she still comes across in her day-to-day life and how she faces these? Perhaps consider how it might impact your piece if you threaded in some struggles Eliza once faced/still faces, yet tied it back at the end to Eliza's determination to push through these problems and make each day be the best it can be. Maybe think about how this might add to the theme of the piece/what lessons the reader might learn from this? This is simply an idea, but maybe you could think about how it could strengthen the piece if you talked a bit about Eliza's past and how this contributes to her mindset to have a "perfect day?" However, feel no need to take on these suggestions. :)
To answer your question in the "Message to Reader" box, I think that the title that you have works quite nicely, actually. It's simplistic, yet it portrays the feel of the piece wonderfully. I'm not very great at coming up with titles, but if you wanted a different suggestion, mine would be to maybe somehow create a title that ties into the ending of the piece; something that talks about sunrise/sunset and how each new day has the ability to be amazing if we make it that way? (Sorry I'm not super great at putting these ideas into actual titles).
Overall, this was really fun pice to read and review. I loved the sensory details as well as the strong depiction of Eliza's personality -- wonderful job!!
If you ever have any questions about Write the World, feel free to let me know, I'd be happy to help. In the meantime, keep writing!!! :)