Peer Review by HelpMe512 (United States)

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Fire and Ice

By: Spade


FREE WRITING

    "They're advancing!" the commander barked, "Hold your ground!"
We could feel them before they even came into sight. With some many of them, the heat they gave off was enough to melt one of us instantly - even half a mile away. The commander seemed to not care about that aspect, though. He clearly just wanted to battle his age-old nemesis. Although the commander would be furious, I left formation, stepping in front of all of my brethren. As the enemy approached, I could feel myself beginning to melt. Droplets of water formed on my brow and my hair was dripping down my back. Soon, I could see the other army. Without looking, I could tell everyone else grimaced with fear of them. Rivers of melted ice were rushing all around them. All my brethren tried to replace their fear with hatred from the approaching army, but that fear was still there. The closer they came, the deeper the pit in my stomach grew. The closer they came, the faster I melted. I knew the way to defeat them, but why did it have to be so hard? I closed my eyes, thinking of their home scenario. They probably had children, just like I did. They probably had a beautiful wife that they had to leave, just like I did. They probably didn't want to be here any more than I did. They were probably just like me. So, I did the one thing no one else would've ever done. I walked over to them, arms spread wide. I welcomed them, my heart open. They stopped in their tracks and my brethren gawked at me. I could feel the intensity of the enemy's heat lowering till it was just warm enough to keep them alive. The battle ended before it even started because the only thing stronger than hatred and resentment is love. I always was, always is, and always will be.


Message to Readers

I'd love it if you could give my feedback on this. I was just kinda bored and wanted to emphasis the importance of love. Oh, and the fact that love doesn't equate to romance.


Peer Review

This piece is super interesting, and I absolutely love the message at the end. The idea of the world is really cool too, and I'd love to learn more about these people of fire and ice.


I feel like it would make a more powerful statement if the entire ice army were to do what the narrator did. That would make stopping the fire army more reasonable, and it would be a great way to show how powerful solidarity also is.


Reviewer Comments

Great work!