chrysanthemums&ink

United States

ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message to Readers

an oldie.

i ripped a child out of my body

August 29, 2020

FREE WRITING

23

today's one of the nights where / i unhook the first few buttons on my blouse and / stitch my eyelashes back onto my face. / check the news and it looks like / someone's lynching butterflies again / oh well oh well / pity the children who grow up under the hands of / murderers and / cicada skins in strawberry milkshakes. / 

has the child died yet? / bobble head china dolls / it's okay if you scratch off the lacquer over her painted pupils / she likes it better that way / with red marks streaking her white powder cheeks and / a raw hunger splitting down her chest. / everybody loves a woman who snarls / and knows how to spit blood like paint. / they look at girls who hate themselves and say / "yes, this one please". / 

when the crimson sun dies / we head on home / ice cream cones dripping with hot wax and / fingertips split over violin strings. / our carefree spittle and / the lack of rear view mirrors / turns into swallows / that night we kill two birds / with one stone. / 

nostalgia is just another word for grief / life choked you until you were no longer a child / and hung your limp body on a Christmas tree / they say God beckons from the top of the evergreen and it seems / the only way to get up is to crush the skulls of your fellow ornaments / that's what they say at least / and it doesn't matter if they're wrong / it only matters that some people think they're right. /

i fall back into adolescence one afternoon / and let it crawl back up my tongue in cherry popsicle and broken wii wires. / drowning in empty hallways' stale fragrance and / bitter fruit juices. / you held no thoughts back then / sprinkled in the iris of your eyes / tears spat in the oil / and turned into cough syrup / now you have no tears at all /choking. / so what do you drink at night? / grinding your baby teeth in a mortar and pestle and / sifting it over your morning coffee. /

adults aren't that different from children really / God just brought a hammer down on their bodies / and added a new layer of / sediment. / butterfly wings decorating / office windows and cemeteries / pluck your flowers from the bone and / break your heart in half / butter cookie / please / scream . / 

you buried the body you used to inhabit. / childhood dreams crushed underfoot by a man with your face / lips pulled taut against red thread / in and out, cross stitch / nails digging into plush mouth / strange / murderous sorrow / you never did forgive them / for stretching your legs until the joints / broke / no darling don't you understand /

they grew you up / now bow. /



 

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  • August 29, 2020 - 9:22pm (Now Viewing)

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9 Comments
  • RemovedUser1

    Oh my gosh! At first I thought this was about abortion, but this is stroll so terrible yet beautiful! The imagery is scary. I am kinda at a loss of words.... so many different emotions are coursing through me.


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    wow! I know I'm late but this is stunning! Amazing piece!


    3 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    Replying: OMG YES CHRYS I'M SO GLAD SOMEONE GOT IT. but I mean, you're a violinist so classical music ain't no sweat for you, right?
    (Also, apparently the mayan calendar was 8 years behind or something, which is why the world was supposed to end in 2012, ya know earthquake films:), plus it's the summer solstice.)


    5 months ago
  • the_enclave

    replying: thanks for the kind words! your support means a whole lot. you've always been so kind, and i'm sure i'm not the only one who has noticed.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    me to you: i ripped this child out of my body
    you: will you please leave me alone


    5 months ago
  • ek503

    WOW this piece is amazing. I love it so much :)


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    “ everybody loves a woman who snarls / and knows how to spit blood like paint.” YOIKES CALL ME OUT GIRL.
    “ when the crimson sun dies / we head on home / ice cream cones dripping with hot wax and” oh my gosh i literally love your imagery in this. i love when pieces show me little visions of images like a picture presentation and this is one of those. it’s so sunset-dark ominous aesthetic? like dark academia or smth
    “ drowning in empty hallways' stale fragrance and / bitter fruit juices” hello? the absolute mastery and refined talent in this line alone...
    “ they grew you up / now bow. / ” is such a growing up/age anthem. wow. poor adults, truly, hammered down. magnificent, and honestly, highlight worthy.


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    i’ll come back for a proper comment but: wow. that title is a killer.


    5 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    how do you keep creating these MASTERPIECES!? Your imagery and your way with words is exquisite. And that last line is def my favorite. Keep up the amazing work :D


    5 months ago