Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
*sucks in breath* please don't judge; I know this isn't my best work
still using my trusty toothpick to dig through this writer's block! wish me luck!
I'd love some feedback, since this is literally word vomit :/
imagery!! i feel like i say that too much but your imagery is some of the most vivid i've ever seen on this site and i still don't know how you do it. also, i like the parallel structure/stanza grouping, highlighting each facet of what refuge is to you. nice work!
[as a side note, i'd love to see connections to flowers in each of the stanzas - you used dandelions in the second and marigolds in the fourth and i think that tying each feeling to a flower could provide another connecting piece for the reader to go back to.]
The idea of refuge in people, rather than a place, is what hits me here - more of a feeling than a tangible thing. also that feelings of refuge can be paradoxical in a way, cozy or wild or anything in between. nice work!
thanks for sharing this piece! let me know if you have any questions/comments or want me to look at another draft of this piece - i'd be happy to!