Peer Review by BeTheChange18 (Australia)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?

n e f e l i b a t a

By: lianhabanana!


(adj.) One who lives in the clouds of their own imagintation; An unconventional

i. black boots/ black jeans/ blond hair tied in A red bandana flowing behind her/ the smell of motor oil clouds the air around her/ the whrrrrr of the motorbike/ fills her head.../ all of a sudden /the walls close in on her/ office phones ring/ her head filled once again/ with the headache of a full calendar. 

(adj.) fragrant, delicious.

ii. the roses/ still have their ambrosial smell/ even when/dusted with chalk-like snow/but you/cannot/even bloom/ in the warmest of weathers. 

(n) a blank space or missing part. 

iii. the glassy-eyed moon watches/envious of her teardrop eyes, her snowdrop steps/ but she knows/its too hard to try/ her eyes dance like flames/ anger rises in all her tranquility/ she's the lacuna of her soul.../ the lacuna of her soul she'll never get back. 

Note: The she or her's in bold are referring to the moon and the ones in italic are referring the other person
in the story.

(n.) the awareness of how little of the world you'll experience.

iv. laughter fills the room/ a cloudless sky and the horizon on their minds/travelling to the ends of the earth/ and back/ the winding road and a coffee in their hands/the engine whrrrsss/excitement/lights up their faces/but not for long.

(adj.) wicked, villainous, despicable. 

v. standing in the sheltered forest/her green eyes /flashed with anger/ as she extended/a long/ pointed finger/ at him/ green flashes/ emerged/ from her finger/ striking him /in the chest/ he fell/to the ground /with a thud.


Date started: 18.06.2020
Date finished: 21.06.2020
First Published: 21.06.2020
Word count: 268
I wanted to try a new style of writing. I don't know if it's any good but it is inspired by mia_:)'s writing. I know a lot of other people write like this as well but her page was the first time I saw this style. :) Check out her page here: 
"the glassy-eyed moon " Inspired by OpalDove's entry to my competition called: Glass check it out here:
Last story inspired by the witch Morgana. 

Message to Readers

Feedback welcome and much appreciated!!!!!

Peer Review

What a unique piece! Your title and this particular style of writing really caught my eye. I've never read or seen a piece of writing quite like this one before! I love how you also change the font, how ever you did so, it creates a beautiful link between the words. :)

What was your inspiration from this story? I noticed at the bottom how you have wrote which pieces inspired it but what exactly put meaning behind your words and sentences used? I would love to know, this piece intrigues me in so many different ways!

Reviewer Comments

Overall, I am actually blown away at your talent. I recognise that this piece was inspired by other's that are similar, but you have truly written this in your own style and fashion! Well done. :)