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ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ 'ʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛᴏᴍᴏʀʀᴏᴡ ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ.

Message to Readers

my 2nd chinese history piece came sooner than expected. 6/4 is gone so this will have to do.

(TW! please. if you are sensitive to these things: violence, triggering historical events, 'resemblance' to recent events' DO NOT READ)
tiananmen INCIDENT: 1976, occurring after a beloved leader's death, Zhou Enlai. was cracked down by the gov and labeled "counterrevolutionary". later though, after the prosecution of the 'gang of four' (which most of china's problems were blamed on), the event was labeled "patriotic".
tiananmen massacre: 1989, protests started in may, government crackdown on june 4th. read the article (TW). i won't say this here. is currently still being covered up by the chinese government.

why am i writing so much

inside this bright red square | TW: triggering historical events/violence

June 18, 2020



you find out a decade later, sticky fingered and flipping through the pages of search browsers halfway across the world from your hometown. time ticks down, internet cafe giant computer lagging and you, frozen in the limelight. 
the biggest public secret, kept by thousands of bloody monolids. there is no chinese wikipedia page on what happened ten years ago but there are british reporters and american footage. 
    but they all forgot. 
of course, woven though spider webs and little red books, your homeland s̶m̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶e̶d̶  protected you like a parent would to their child. "no, he isn't dead, just sleeping for a long time" 
you can't speak, no, even the western in you creeps away and you can only babble in your first language. the timer rings and the next in line jostles your shoulder because you can't

you think through the bright brown eyes of ten years earlier, 1976 zhou enlai and 'gang of four' downfall 'counter' revolutionary burned into your mind and insurgent consonants enunciated like a crack through the sun. 
    now, you realize. it was like a western fantasy book. of a people who rebelled against an unlawful government. 
        but you're also wrong. because that government was the mother who brought you up. you can't comprehend anyone rebelling against their mother so defiantly that she'd shoot bullets from her mouth. yet—

they did. 

you imagine starving yourself in May, you imagine storming into a historical square with an intent to change things. you imagine the sizzling excitement suddenly morphing into horror as the first metal round strikes the sidewalk. you imagine the tanks rolling into the roads. you imagine yelling and screaming and throwing stones at military shields. you imagine the fear gripping your chest.
you imagine never walking out. 
    or maybe you were carried out, shirt sticking to your chest and the police cars blocking the ambulances from entering, rickshaws acting as paramedics as you rush towards the nearest childrens' hospital. 

the next Chinese new year, you can't bring yourself to return home. can't bring yourself to stare the portrait of your 'chairman mao' on your father's living room wall. 

you can't bring yourself to forget. 

"ti'ananmen bleeds twice. you try to scrub the marks off your skin but it's too late." 
to read up: 
(TW. just like the title. please do not take this lightly)


See History
  • June 18, 2020 - 12:01am (Now Viewing)

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  • outoftheblue

    thank you so much for writing this chrys. It's incredibly important to shed light on often overlooked or whitewashed aspects of history and you have done an excellent job, as always. while I have heard about the tiananmen square incident, the way you've depicted it here is nothing short of extraordinary. you're too good <3

    5 months ago
  • mia_:)

    oh my goodness! this sounds like such a tragedy (i wasn't aware of this event before now), but thank you for bringing light to this in such a beautiful way! you are such a good writer! i agree with sunny; you're doing great things! <3<3

    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    thank you so much for writing about and informing us about these tragedies—history’s important, and often, it rests in the youngest and most poetic of our hands to tell. truly, you’re doing great things here.

    5 months ago