United Arab Emirates

to love or to not love

avatar: self portrait as a tehuana by frida kahlo

(riley, you go girl!)

Message from Writer

when i'm done with school i'll cut off all my hair and dye it green and wear only late-victorian stuff.

nolite te bastardes carborundorum

my grandmother told me about a man she'd once loved

June 30, 2020

PROMPT: Farsick


i dreaded monday mornings in 1989
and i still do
japanese warehouse and their fruit snacks that eat me
away, with a grace too barbed for their age
as i screw bottle caps,
there’s a poem in the pit
of my stomach,
sinking its teeth into
a skinned, plump memory of amorphous youth
when i was made of baby teeth and curled around
your fingers,
we sat in your car as
communism bled away.
our bodies wrung like starched linen
in a world still wet behind the ears,
but in those days
our edges ran like noses
before we’d collapse into a
stringy, rheumy-eyed mess.
till our shadows died and dusk settled like truth.
we sat in your car
as revolutions velveted
into dead milkmen songs,
as walls fell
and were worn in hair
like flowers.

we allowed our lives to stray
and melt like black tar,
into stubborn, indelible shapes,
callously breaking our dreams
and wrapping them up in paper towels.
sipping karak aggressively
on a roadside,
these smells cling to me
(turmeric on a sweater)
as i do the dishes, dishwashing soap
on open papercuts.
and i cannot put you in a house
with your daughter and her mother
so in my poems, you are still
blister-strapped, cherry-stained on
classic films that slip like
secrets into the night.
you are still sand-coloured,
careless shoes on willowy shadows,
time frozen
in ice-cube trays.


See History
  • June 30, 2020 - 12:39pm (Now Viewing)

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  • spurtsofdarkness

    i use your writing as a coping mechanism aksksksks this is so so good

    6 months ago
  • youknowme

    this is absolutely mind blowing what

    7 months ago
  • spurtsofdarkness

    I'm so damn happy this got featured

    8 months ago
  • sunny.v


    8 months ago
  • sunny.v

    i am much too short of the brain cells necessary to truly grasp how beautiful this is, but it left the best feeling in my chest. “ you are still sand-coloured, careless shoes on willowy shadows, time frozen in ice-cube trays.” it’s like you took snapshots of beautiful scenes and stuck them onto this—wow. brilliant work

    9 months ago
  • EdilMayHampsen

    The way you grasp history from a personal standpoint in what (I think?) is post-occupation japan is really well done! Showing the larger picture through a small lens, slowly panning around to tell a story with this. Besides what it shows, your general technique, word choice, and flow, gives me such a nostalgic feeling. Great poem!

    9 months ago
  • løne wølf [semi-hiatus]


    9 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Replying: Aww, you're so sweet and your comments always make me so happy! I'm glad you like the piece and your comment was a total confidence boost! The fact that someone so talented likes my work makes me incredibly happy! <3<3 *mwah*

    9 months ago
  • aosora

    im well and truly in love

    9 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    wow, i'd feel guilty if i didn't comment on this masterpiece. i'm kinda speechless rn so i don't think i can compliment this much but wow this is fricking beautiful.

    9 months ago
  • elliem

    Wow. This is amazing. The sheer emotion in this piece really makes it pop, and your writing style is distinct and beautiful.

    9 months ago