ava09 (sorta back)

United States

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Message to Readers

I tried out a new format with the lowercase, italics and also the structure - does it work?
Currently I'm agonizing over a big decision right now, and even though in my heart I think I know what the right thing to do is I'm super indecisive sooooo that's what this piece is about. <3

decisions

June 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

7


decisions
suck the feeling out of you until your wrung out
just another rag tossed out to dry
shriveled on the side of a wash basin

forgotten

decisions
the big ones make life seem impossible
how am i to choose between staying or quitting
both make me out to be a monster

unforgivable

decisions
my brain toys with all the outcomes
a or b or c or d and on for infinity
there may be only 26 letters in the english alphabet but my brain will create many more possibilities

spiraling

decisions
breaking down and trying to explain how i feel to my family but they don't understand how can they
manipulation holds you captive to the manipulator and no parent wants to see their daughter in pain
sobbing and shouting that she's had enough but she still can't cut the strings that bind her

stuck

decisions
who am i to decide my own fate
the people-pleaser just can't win because the answer's always wrong
wrong for me or wrong for them and never right for both

torn

decisions
and in the end i’m never happy even if i do escape
but the prison he keeps me in is far too strong
after awhile the bird can only sing so long in its gilded cage until its voice gives out and its tossed aside

forgotten

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8 Comments
  • Busssy.Beee

    I have to echo everyone else. I love this piece!!


    5 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Geniusssss!
    This piece is flooded with inspiration!


    7 months ago
  • Coolgirl2020 (LOVE YA ALL)

    *applauds* YASSYASSYASS! Preach it!


    10 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Wow! Incredible piece!

    "decisions
    the big ones make life seem impossible"

    This line I can totally relate. Great piece!


    10 months ago
  • yazzy

    Replying: Wow, your hair must look super pretty. I think I used to have my hair around back length but that was when i was like 8. I've been cutting my hair super short with pixie cuts, I finally decided to grow it out because I truly forgot what I looked like in long hair, and I wish I had more hairstyles to do. My sister also has long hair past her shoulders (i think?) Yep, I've been to Morocco. I'm actually residing there as of now, I think I've lived most of my life here. If you do plan on coming I'd love to show you around. We could go to my favorite city Marrakech, it's the most "evolved" in my opinion my dad and I really like it there because we both have horrid allergies, but when we go there it vanishes like dust. Have you only lived in the U.S? I haven't been there in years. Also, that's all good, Steven Universe is good but the last couple of seasons are kinda bad and drag along far too much. Btw, did you try running for Community Ambassador this year? I did but I didn't make it, there must've been a lot of entries due to quarantine. They even said so in the email. Yea, I also don't play much games, I'm more of a book/music person. I met this one girl here, her name is Hazel. She's super sweet it's nice to relate to someone with the same interests as you. The only other person I can relate to is my cousin. I do wish I was younger though, because the biggest age difference I have right now is 15 years with my youngest cousin. It's the same age difference between me and his dad. Also, IKR Fire Emblem: Three Houses characters are amazing. My personal favorite is Felix, but he's a rude boi. Top three are Dimitri, Dedue, and Felix.

    Oh that's all good, Steven Universe is a cartoon it's really good.


    10 months ago
  • joella

    i love this formatting! i completely empathize with the whole indecision sentiment; that's basically the story of my life. good luck with it :))


    10 months ago
  • yazzy

    Oh also, do you like Steven Universe? Do you play video games? Since my cousins are over I play their Nintendo Switch, my favorite game is Fire Emblem: Three Houses. THE CHARACTERS ARE SOOOOO GOOD LOOKING.


    10 months ago
  • yazzy

    wow this piece is amazing, i can't even begin to explain how pretty it is. Replying: Yeah, I love learning languages, I actually used to take Mandarin classes in my old homeschool but it was soooo hard so I dropped it. My dad know almost 4 because he's studying Turkish, he kinda picks up some languages everywhere he goes. Honestly, being homeschooled is fun but the times they suck it's awful, I've mostly had a good experience. I did go to a private school for a couple months, but it was sucky so I left. Yep, having 8 siblings (not me included) is wild. I am older than my sister by around two years, my biggest age difference is 12 years with my brother. So, it's super easy to feel old. I don't really mind having a lot of sibling but I do wish I had an older brother. Do you like being the eldest? I have dark brown hair, it's wavy but it becomes curly when I cut it short. I have brown eyes they do look black though, I think they look pretty in the sun. Is your hair short or long? I plan on growing my hair out, it's collarbone length at the moment. I'm actually trying to drag out school a little bit so I have stuff do during summer. This is out of context but how long have your parents been married? Mine have been married for almost 21 years. Have you ever been to Morocco or had moroccan food?


    10 months ago