ava09 (sorta back)

United States

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Message to Readers

I tried out a new format with the lowercase and also the structure - does it work?
Currently I'm agonizing over a big decision right now, and even though in my heart I think I know what the right thing to do is I'm super indecisive sooooo that's what this piece is about. <3

decisions

June 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

4


decisions
suck the feeling out of you until your wrung out
just another rag tossed out to dry
shriveled on the side of a wash basin
forgotten

decisions
the big ones make life seem impossible
how am i to choose between staying or quitting
both make me out to be a monster
unforgivable

decisions
my brain toys with all the outcomes
a or b or c or d and on for infinity
there may be only 26 letters in the english alphabet but my brain will create many more possibilities
spiraling

decisions
breaking down and trying to explain how i feel to my family but they don't understand how can they
manipulation holds you captive to the manipulator and no parent wants to see their daughter in pain
sobbing and shouting that she's had enough but she still can't cut the strings that bind her
stuck

decisions
who am i to decide my own fate
the people-pleaser just can't win because the answer's always wrong
wrong for me or wrong for them and never right for both
torn

decisions
and in the end i’m never happy even if i do escape
but the prison he keeps me in is far too strong
after awhile the bird can only sing so long in its gilded cage until its voice gives out and its tossed aside
forgotten

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3 Comments
  • Gabriel Goodwin

    I feel this all the time let's go :(((

    Also...

    replying:

    "This is really interesting! My friend is Filipino and she speaks Tagalog (which I still mispronounce sometimes but I try reallyyy hard to get it right). The Philippines seem like such a cool place though I want to visit!"

    That's so cool! I love it when people have friends from other countries! It's likeeeee learning the world again from scratch, because different people different experiences and the like. I dunno I just love learning and being open to other cultures SOOO LIKE YEHAY NICE! Does your Filipino friend teach you Tagalog? I gotta know HAHAHA


    8 months ago
  • mia_:)

    I am so indecisive! SO RELATABLE!! I'd say this piece is a success!


    9 months ago
  • CactusKid

    I love this! I'm indecisive too lol


    9 months ago