fatpanda

India

#126 contest results!

June 16, 2020

FREE WRITING

10
i want to start this by giving a sincere thank you to everyone who entered this contest, or even considered entering. i received over 55 entries across all five prompts, and i never thought that this celebration of mine at reaching 100 followers (126, really) would be so well received. this contest lasted for four months-- that’s two more than i intended it for to-- and thank you to everyone for sticking around till now.

before i get into the winning entries, please don’t be disheartened if you didn’t win anything. there were a lot of entries for each prompt-- picking them was in a task in itself. 

here goes!


prompt 1

FIRST PLACE: the_enclave’s an incoherent set of words that might or might not mean a thing.
the word count dracula sucks that’s a lot of big no no don’t say that you’ll get down to sesame street is a good guys are underrated movies deserve their boxes of tissues are really helpful nurses healing powder drugs.
when i first read this piece, i knew this was going to win. it’s everything i wanted from the prompt. the trailing-off sentences, the punctuation and the repetition all make it seem like the writer is confused and doesn’t have a clear destination to reach by the end of his piece, which is exactly what a ramble is. it’s hilarious, and i love that i can’t make sense of it, even after reading it so many times. chase, i owe you five reviews on pieces of your choice, three likes/comments on pieces of my choice, and a month-long shout-out in my message from the writer box.

SECOND PLACE: melancholyviolet’s and and i’ll ramble because that’s all i have left
as i write this the guy beside me in study hall is giving me dirty looks and i think i'm typing too loud. 
what i really like and appreciate about this piece is that it is very clear to make out that it was written with no clear outline in mind, and the fact that the writer included stuff that was happening in real time for them. it goes from lighthearted in the start to a bit deeper at the end, but the transition is quite smooth. congrats; i owe you three reviews on pieces of your choice, and two likes/comments on pieces of my choice.

THIRD PLACE: Christy Wisdom’s A Ramble of Everything, Nothing, and Whatever is In-Between
is every shooting star actually just a flying asterisk?
there’s something about the way this piece was written that draws you in from the get-go-- it intersperses serious contemplations and lighthearted wonderings in a way that speaks to you. it’s a very fun read, and contains various gems of sentences like ‘do you think that bluebirds know how to speak in poetry? do waves toss people around because they find it amusing?’. christy, i owe you two reviews on pieces of your choice, and one like/comment on a piece of my choice.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: pieces that were breathtaking but didn’t fit the prompt sufficiently enough in my opinion.
weirdo’s i’d say there’s no art in losing yourself but why else am i a poet?
and blood makes me panic like cycles
like spirals i wonder if the turtles broke
that’s why our earth is shattering and
she told me to eat the broken glass but
i already despise stabbing migraines 

Jasmine_K’s l&arc2.0
you laugh/ and it sounds like streetlights/ at 2am, which is to say/ hollow and useless/ because the moon is already bright enough.

poetri’s another artistic statement so again i shall bleed
it is almost time for my ability and my imagination to meet. they shall clasp each other’s hands and walk across the finish line together. when prose and paint finally manage to collide i am nothing like the world has ever seen. 


prompt 2

FIRST PLACE: Brielle P. Chor’s The Whole World Gets Wider
more damning than a
eureka, crafty hands of 
human nature
after reading this wonderful piece, is it even possible for you to not have a special spot for scientific poems? honestly, i’m in love with every stanza-- how you’ve made such a (to me, at least) basic thing, so poetic. everything you refer to in the poem ties in quite nicely with what it is based on, and your descriptions were marvellous. congrats brielle, i owe you three reviews on pieces of your choice, two likes/comments on pieces of my choice, and a month-long shout-out in my message from the writer box.

HONORABLE MENTION: Vinter Vejen’s Ode To The Russian Spaceflights
Laika- the little sweetheart
The Жучка, the little bug 
The Лимончик, the little lemon


prompt 3
FIRST PLACE: Chloe :) <3’s Disconnected
The twilight blue met the grey clouds on the horizon,
Being shrunk to the size of a few atoms, on a downward slope.
while all the other poems were still connected to detachment in some or the other way, this was the only entry that actually made me feel it. the rhyming scheme works very well here, and i quite like how ‘dreams’ is left ambiguous. chloe, i owe you five reviews on pieces of your choice, three likes/comments on pieces of my choice, and a month-long shout-out in my message from the writer box.

SECOND PLACE: CrazyNinjaKid’s an athair
echos repeating, over and over, 
mind whirling, intimate voices,
violent nightmares, triggered painstakingly
usually, using so many bisyllabic words with nothing separating them (like a conjunction or so) becomes a bit overwhelming, but in this case it adds to the overall feeling of what the poem is about. i also liked the way this flowed-- the sentences that ended abruptly and compact it looks. cnk, i owe you three reviews on pieces of your choice, and two likes/comments on pieces of my choice.

THIRD PLACE: mia_:)’s split in two
i spiral outwards, 
see myself on the floor
what i like most about this piece is its rhythm-- it’s amazingly fast-paced, and it’s like you’re moving from one task to another in rapid succession, leaving no time for a breather or a break in between. also, i’m not sure if this was intentional or not, but the poem is formatted like a vertical curve is pressing it against the margin-- it’s as though detachment is not static, but an ever-changing wave. mia, i owe you two reviews on pieces of your choice, and one like/comment on a piece of my choice.


prompt 4

FIRST PLACE: Wicked!’s a breathing blasphemy
...roses nestled in your brittle ribs and halos cradled in your glorious palms, with frescoes painted on your sinewy thighs and stars spinning around your nimble fingers...
okay, first of all wow. this is a gorgeous, gorgeous piece. it somehow has a very victorian vibe, which i love, and the phrasing is exquisite. wicked! uses words common in poetic prose in ways i never would have thought of, and there were quite a few times i had to pause and just... soak up the beauty of this piece. if you’ve heard the song it is based on, you would agree with me in saying that doing justice to it would not be an easy task, but wicked! manages it well. congrats; i owe you five reviews on pieces of your choice, three likes/comments on pieces of my choice, and a month-long shout-out in my message from the writer box.

SECOND PLACE: anoushka1705’s Lament of the Lonely//The Ballad of Eleanor Rigby
i sit in silence, in this dusty, ancient church
waiting, waiting for this dream-like reality 
to be over, so finally i can go back 
to the life i had made for myself
picking the rice, on the stony floor
i’m awful at complimenting pieces like this-- this is one of those pieces that just begs a reread, you need to pay special attention and make connections to truly appreciate the thought put behind it. congrats; i owe you three reviews on pieces of your choice, and two likes/comments on pieces of my choice.

THIRD PLACE: Dmoral13’s young dumb broke high school kids// had it all
it drops nightmares around me like they're coins. 
there’s always so engaging about dmoral’s prose-- i really like the use of alternating lyrics from two different songs as a sort of breaker for different parts of this piece. it follows a past relationship in an almost reminiscent way, and yes, i think it works well given the choice of songs here. congrats; i owe you two reviews on pieces of your choice, and one like/comment on a piece of my choice.


prompt 5

FIRST PLACE: Vinter Vejen’s Never Mind, Oh Never Mind Yourself, Slimy Cretin
"Tell me, please"
"Oh, nothing, just that the cloud you're drawing looks a little like an apple."
"...what!"
h
ere’s the thing: this was the only piece that fit the prompt fully. i had asked for you to “make me feel disgusted/angry/irritated on your behalf” and also to “describe your emotions when it happens.” vinter’s is the only piece that did this, and despite this fact, it is a well-written piece. and hilarious-- i was still smiling on my third read. congrats; i owe you three reviews on pieces of your choice, two likes/comments on pieces of my choice, and a month-long shout-out in my message from the writer box.


congrats to all those who won! please comment what pieces you’d like reviewed below (all the honorable mentions get one review each). know that i don’t have regular access to a computer, so it will take me a while to get to them. again, thank you to all those who entered, and happy pride!

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  • June 16, 2020 - 9:03am (Now Viewing)

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15 Comments
  • Brielle P. Chor

    Replying: I'm frankly not too sure about what is covered in ninth grade for circular motion in Physics (because I'm not familiar with the syllabus for that grade and if it matches with what I have learnt in first year junior college), so you can just comment freely. It's alright even if you question something more in depth in relation to Science in the review. Thanks!


    5 months ago
  • poetri

    No problem, I understand completely. Here's another one (without anything political.) Hope you like it!
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/163548/version/321806


    5 months ago
  • Brielle P. Chor

    Replying: Sorry, I'm not too sure what you mean by guides to help you interpret the pieces better. I don't really have anything concrete that I can give you? What did you have in mind?


    5 months ago
  • amazing grace

    Congrats!


    6 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    replying: thank you <3


    6 months ago
  • Dmoral

    eek! so many entries, i'm grateful you were able to read mine! i'm glad you liked my song lyric piece (you love my prose? ooh, thanks lovely, i've always kinda been on the fence about it)!! so many thank yous and congrats to everyone!
    as for my 2 reviews? uhm, well......i've deleted a lot of my work so they'll probably have to be fairly new pieces or old pieces i never deleted. let's go with-

    Confessions to Mother Nature
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/164249/version/321483
    (this piece i wrote in kind of a rush, so could you point out the typos and grammar mishaps please? or if there's vague, confusing, or hard to read spots? if there was a piece i'd want the biggest (constructive) criticism, it's definitely this one!)

    my body grows old before my mind wishes it so (alone, maturity hurts) #ekphrasis3 [Anha]
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/164585/version/322747
    (i'd love to know your favorite lines!! also, my grammar sucks so i know there are problems with that, that i'm oblivious too. but for this one, perhaps just very vague or confusing spots? and/or places and ideas i could expand on?)

    hopefully, you like my pieces & reviewing them isn't dreadful. also, hope i didn't ask for too much (extremely sorry if i did)? anyway, thanks bunches again & send my love <3


    6 months ago
  • Chloe :) <3

    Wow! I forgot I even wrote this piece. Thank you so much for the first place and I'm glad you liked the piece! Honestly feel free to review or not review anything - I'm not too picky


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Congratulations everyone!! These pieces are aMaZiNg.


    6 months ago
  • the_enclave

    thanks that mean people can bees knees


    6 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    Thank you so much! This is totally unexpected! I'd love if you could review these pieces:
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/167815/version/330450
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/166603/version/326896
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/173127/version/343086


    6 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Thank you so much! This contest was so fun and I am honored that you liked my piece! I would really appreciate reviews on these pieces!
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/172980/version/343828
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/172740/version/342008
    Thank you!
    <3


    6 months ago
  • Brielle P. Chor

    Thank you so much for hosting this contest! It would be lovely if you could review these pieces:

    The Secret Society of Plath's 103°: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/164602/version/325220

    Hellebore on a Summer Day: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/164399/version/321809

    The Whole World Gets Wider: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/166600/version/326890

    Thank you once again!


    6 months ago
  • poetri

    Thank you! Such a good contest :)
    If you'd please review this piece I'd appreciate it greatly:
    https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/170976/version/338193


    6 months ago
  • Wicked!

    Such kind words, damn panda :') Thank you so much! Please review any of my pieces. Congratulations to all the winners!


    6 months ago
  • Christy Wisdom

    thank you so much and congrats to the others!! Could you review "kintsugi" and "engraved"? Thanks again!! :DD


    6 months ago