i.
my seventh-grade classmate slapped me with the back of her hand, inked in slurs
and i stood there and let the words become an iron brand on my cheek.
she spits into my food: “sorry to ruin your lunch—wouldn’t want to ruin the taste of dog.”
the words on my face burn hot. i don’t move to rub them away.
ii. i bet your parents came to america to work in a california nail salon. i bet they probably cleaned my grandaddy’s toes. actually, my mom arrived in ellis island, and she waved at lady liberty, and i bet she didn’t know that lady liberty’s a filthy snake and a liar
i bet your parents are proud that this great country even allowed them in yeah, i bet they are. i bet it’s everything my dad imagined when he starved, drifting in the pacific and i bet he really liked being called a yellow gangster and i bet he felt real welcome when he wasn’t allowed in some restaurants and i bet it was way better than his family’s life being threatened by some men in red uniforms back home.
iii.
i wore a face mask in public last weekend and a man told me to bring the chinese disease back to where i came from. i wondered if i forgot to wash off “alien” from my forehead that morning
he spat on me, so i used his spit to rub his slurs off my cheek
he ended up breaking my nose, and i heard the noise of my bones snapping, and it sounded like: “chink, chink.”
iv. well, i mean, america spits on people like me and
america spits on people who don’t really behave all that right
and america kinda spits on everything that makes it scared but
i think you know that. i hope you know that.
but it’s just, selfishly, all i can think about is me, and that
america spat on me last weekend. and i don’t really think i liked it all that much.
Footnotes
-don’t worry this was metaphorical and no one was slapping anyone lol. have some more personal asian and pandemic struggles. i’m vietnamese btw
-i am not saying that i’m physically aggressive but i am saying that if i had a chainsaw there’d be a whole lot less racist bigots in the world
came back to read again. it hasn't been long in the span of things, but still, as powerful and relevant as ever. not in the authority to say this, but i really wish this was published somewhere- its really something i think people should hear...
thank you for saying this; it really needed to be said. if murdering racist, discriminating b*tches was not illegal, the world would be a better place.
i'm really glad this was metaphorical but also really sad that this is a reality for so many in America. and you're absolutely right, people hate on what they don't know or are afraid of. so go forth with that chainsaw.
Replying: I know, everyone says junior year is the hardest year of high school, and I'm terrified!! Prom is definitely not a thing though; my school doesn't even have one! We just have a formal spring dance. Plus, no one would ask me XD. I'm so not popular at my school lol and there honestly isn't anyone I'd go with tbh. I'd only go with someone I was friends with or knew well (that's all I'd be allowed to do anyway), and I only have two guy friends there who definitely wouldn't ask me (I don't think they even go to dances).
Replying: Oh, weird. I read the Birth Order Book for class which was super fun, and the only child personality is basically the oldest on steroids, so maybe you fit it better than you think. And I love how we're so close in age and height. So that makes you a freshman? I'm pretty much at the cutoff for sophomores I think. Which means your older than everyone and I'm younger.
Replying: Yep, I'm a fellow middle child! Which is weird because I'm an older twin who has the personality of an only child. But I'll be 16 in September (WHAT?!?).
You're an amazing writer. I know a lot of your pieces contain intense anger, but it's always justified and you only support violence in the context of self-defense. I really like how you write authentically and you don't mask the anger. because really, as PoC, us being angry makes a lot of sense.
your writing is full of darn honest truth and sucks the reader in from the very first word. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I totally agree with everyone else *claps*
I totally agree with asta and N. This is so powerful and raw and amazing! I hate how awful people can be, but you bring out the best in us! "i wondered if i forgot to wash off “alien” from my forehead that morning," is so powerful and is the line that really hit me in the gut. Keep writing! You really can change this world, one sentence at a time! (and you're an amazing gremlin of terror, so anyone who is awful and racist better watch their backs!)
"and i heard the noise of my bones snapping, and it sounded like: “chink, chink.”" i--this was just so raw and so beautiful, and honestly? i have no words. imo, this is one of your best pieces to date. and as for the footnotes, i'm a pacifist, but stabbing a few people sounds very therapeutic, it's self-care, really.
Ahhhhhh, this makes me scream on the inside. I hate racism and discrimination. I despise them! Keep fighting sunny.v because you are doing great! I stand with you. :)
I'm so sorry this happened<3 the way some people treat others is really disgusting.
On another note:this is so well written.and I think I am falling in love with your pieces and it is going to become a problem! *follows*
wow. that was stunning. it's heartbreaking that anyone would be treated this way.
on that note, i agree completely with N. girl, you don't need a chainsaw, write an effing poem!
Replying- i can read and write, but the grammar is hard : ( i’d say 19% fluent mayhaps? also olive bits? Lmao. You’re the watermelon one percented bit (im running out of insults but a pinterest spree should fix that heh..
the pain and power in this piece is unreal; every stanza hits hard for a different, distinct reason. this piece makes me ashamed of the times i haven't stood up against racist "jokes" or stereotypes. this piece makes me want to do better. forget the chainsaw, sunny, your words are even stronger. keep fighting :)
aw sunny you tragic one percent of a puppy dog ; ( this is so heartbreaking that people would treat others different for being asian. you keep your head up over there, stay safe
also- to reply- arabic is my mother tongue, and i'm not fluent in russian, but am studying it in school ;) and it was worded fine you hissing beetle of one percent sea salt
footnotes are... everything??? *flashbacks to sunny saying i'll never be taller than her by any means*.
message box: write anything you want. this piece is fricking amazing and i'll be darned if you ever apologize for it. the narrator's tone in this is absolutely phenomenal. apathetic yet spiteful, people need to read this. i know i say that about all your pieces but this is just too good. you're too good. wow this is just really fricking good okay i'm kinda at a loss for words.
i hope the next decision you make brings you happiness <3
chainsaw gang up. i'm with you all the way, girl :)
also so sorry this happened. people suck so much and honestly sometimes this country is so disgusting to me i just...i'm so ashamed, honestly.
Ugh, I'm so sorry this happens sometimes! The fact that some people try to ruin this country for others leaves a bad taste in my mouth. On another note, this is quite well written.
this is so powerful. yet again you've expressed the struggles of poc so articulately.
honestly, a gremlin with a chainsaw is someone i don't think anyone would want to mess with, especially them racist assholes.
33 Comments
spectral
came back to read again. it hasn't been long in the span of things, but still, as powerful and relevant as ever. not in the authority to say this, but i really wish this was published somewhere- its really something i think people should hear...
løne wølf
thank you for saying this; it really needed to be said. if murdering racist, discriminating b*tches was not illegal, the world would be a better place.
Deleted User
Replying- *cackle*
Anne Blackwood
Replying: Cool!! I'm 6% acts of service and 3% gifts lol.
Deleted User
Replying- it is quite a beautiful O ;)
Anne Blackwood
Replying: Actually, I'm 35% quality time, 32% words of affirmation (nothing to be embarrassed about), 23% physical touch.
inanutshell
i'm really glad this was metaphorical but also really sad that this is a reality for so many in America. and you're absolutely right, people hate on what they don't know or are afraid of. so go forth with that chainsaw.
Anne Blackwood
Replying: I absolutely refuse to be kidnapped. Unless it's a place with cool writer 16 year olds and gluten free donuts.
Anne Blackwood
Replying: I know, everyone says junior year is the hardest year of high school, and I'm terrified!! Prom is definitely not a thing though; my school doesn't even have one! We just have a formal spring dance. Plus, no one would ask me XD. I'm so not popular at my school lol and there honestly isn't anyone I'd go with tbh. I'd only go with someone I was friends with or knew well (that's all I'd be allowed to do anyway), and I only have two guy friends there who definitely wouldn't ask me (I don't think they even go to dances).
Anne Blackwood
Replying: Yep, I'll be a junior. Which is CRAZY, because I still feel like a freaking 8th grader.
Anne Blackwood
Replying: Oh, weird. I read the Birth Order Book for class which was super fun, and the only child personality is basically the oldest on steroids, so maybe you fit it better than you think. And I love how we're so close in age and height. So that makes you a freshman? I'm pretty much at the cutoff for sophomores I think. Which means your older than everyone and I'm younger.
Anne Blackwood
Replying: Yep, I'm a fellow middle child! Which is weird because I'm an older twin who has the personality of an only child. But I'll be 16 in September (WHAT?!?).
mia_:)
Replying: Haha, totally fine! <3 Dancing and singing at the same time can be hazardous lol :) You go, girl!!! *breakdances*
black_and_red_ink
You're an amazing writer. I know a lot of your pieces contain intense anger, but it's always justified and you only support violence in the context of self-defense. I really like how you write authentically and you don't mask the anger. because really, as PoC, us being angry makes a lot of sense.
Deleted User
thank you sunny <3 one percented hugs are the best of them
Writing4Life
I'm so sorrrryyyy! That's terrible! But I must say you write with total accuracy! Amazing job!
books4life
your writing is full of darn honest truth and sucks the reader in from the very first word. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I totally agree with everyone else *claps*
mia_:)
I totally agree with asta and N. This is so powerful and raw and amazing! I hate how awful people can be, but you bring out the best in us! "i wondered if i forgot to wash off “alien” from my forehead that morning," is so powerful and is the line that really hit me in the gut. Keep writing! You really can change this world, one sentence at a time! (and you're an amazing gremlin of terror, so anyone who is awful and racist better watch their backs!)
asta
"and i heard the noise of my bones snapping, and it sounded like: “chink, chink.”" i--this was just so raw and so beautiful, and honestly? i have no words. imo, this is one of your best pieces to date. and as for the footnotes, i'm a pacifist, but stabbing a few people sounds very therapeutic, it's self-care, really.
naomi ling
this is... no words. so powerful and poignant. i love esp how POC have such a strong voice in this community with words. love this sunny :)
amaryllis
YES. I've wanted to write something like this for a long time, and maybe now I don't need to. I can just scream and ask for a chainsaw. :)
Deleted User
Ahhhhhh, this makes me scream on the inside. I hate racism and discrimination. I despise them! Keep fighting sunny.v because you are doing great! I stand with you. :)
queenie hawthorne is garfield
this makes me SO ANGRY. I can't even-
happy butterfly
I'm so sorry this happened<3 the way some people treat others is really disgusting.
On another note:this is so well written.and I think I am falling in love with your pieces and it is going to become a problem! *follows*
purplepanache
wow. that was stunning. it's heartbreaking that anyone would be treated this way.
on that note, i agree completely with N. girl, you don't need a chainsaw, write an effing poem!
Deleted User
Replying- i can read and write, but the grammar is hard : ( i’d say 19% fluent mayhaps? also olive bits? Lmao. You’re the watermelon one percented bit (im running out of insults but a pinterest spree should fix that heh..
N.
the pain and power in this piece is unreal; every stanza hits hard for a different, distinct reason. this piece makes me ashamed of the times i haven't stood up against racist "jokes" or stereotypes. this piece makes me want to do better. forget the chainsaw, sunny, your words are even stronger. keep fighting :)
Deleted User
aw sunny you tragic one percent of a puppy dog ; ( this is so heartbreaking that people would treat others different for being asian. you keep your head up over there, stay safe
also- to reply- arabic is my mother tongue, and i'm not fluent in russian, but am studying it in school ;) and it was worded fine you hissing beetle of one percent sea salt
jun lei
powerful and heartbreaking. thank you for writing this.
chrysanthemums&ink
footnotes are... everything??? *flashbacks to sunny saying i'll never be taller than her by any means*.
message box: write anything you want. this piece is fricking amazing and i'll be darned if you ever apologize for it. the narrator's tone in this is absolutely phenomenal. apathetic yet spiteful, people need to read this. i know i say that about all your pieces but this is just too good. you're too good. wow this is just really fricking good okay i'm kinda at a loss for words.
i hope the next decision you make brings you happiness <3
poetri
chainsaw gang up. i'm with you all the way, girl :)
also so sorry this happened. people suck so much and honestly sometimes this country is so disgusting to me i just...i'm so ashamed, honestly.
Anne Blackwood
Ugh, I'm so sorry this happens sometimes! The fact that some people try to ruin this country for others leaves a bad taste in my mouth. On another note, this is quite well written.
outoftheblue
this is so powerful. yet again you've expressed the struggles of poc so articulately.
honestly, a gremlin with a chainsaw is someone i don't think anyone would want to mess with, especially them racist assholes.