sunny.v

United States

she/her | asian
wtw community’s official older sister
running off into the sunset with circe
est. april 27, 2020

swordwielding protector of all minority groups
satire sorceress, lady knight

she clasps peonies, allure, & love

Message to Readers

just some more asian struggles rip :( sunny’s gone and done it again...she’s got the chainsaw

america spat on me last weekend

June 19, 2020

FREE WRITING

40

i.
my seventh-grade classmate slapped me with the back of her hand, inked in slurs
and i stood there and let the words become an iron brand on my cheek.
she spits into my food: “sorry to ruin your lunch—wouldn’t want to ruin the taste of dog.”
the words on my face burn hot. i don’t move to rub them away.

ii.
i bet your parents came to america to work in a california nail salon. i bet they probably cleaned my grandaddy’s toes.
actually, my mom arrived in ellis island, and she waved at lady liberty, and i bet she didn’t know that lady liberty’s a filthy snake and a liar
i bet your parents are proud that this great country even allowed them in
yeah, i bet they are. i bet it’s everything my dad imagined when he starved, drifting in the pacific and i bet he really liked being called a yellow gangster and i bet he felt real welcome when he wasn’t allowed in some restaurants and i bet it was way better than his family’s life being threatened by some men in red uniforms back home.

iii.
i wore a face mask in public last weekend and a man told me to bring the chinese disease back to where i came from. i wondered if i forgot to wash off “alien” from my forehead that morning
he spat on me, so i used his spit to rub his slurs off my cheek
he ended up breaking my nose, and i heard the noise of my bones snapping, and it sounded like: “chink, chink.”

iv.
well, i mean, america spits on people like me and 
america spits on people who don’t really behave all that right
and america kinda spits on everything that makes it scared but

i think you know that. i hope you know that.
but it’s just, selfishly, all i can think about is me, and that

america spat on me last weekend. and i don’t really think i liked it all that much.
-don’t worry this was metaphorical and no one was slapping anyone lol. have some more personal asian and pandemic struggles. i’m vietnamese btw
-i am not saying that i’m physically aggressive but i am saying that if i had a chainsaw there’d be a whole lot less racist bigots in the world

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  • June 19, 2020 - 3:55pm (Now Viewing)

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33 Comments
  • spectral

    came back to read again. it hasn't been long in the span of things, but still, as powerful and relevant as ever. not in the authority to say this, but i really wish this was published somewhere- its really something i think people should hear...


    3 months ago
  • løne wølf

    thank you for saying this; it really needed to be said. if murdering racist, discriminating b*tches was not illegal, the world would be a better place.


    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Replying- *cackle*


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Cool!! I'm 6% acts of service and 3% gifts lol.


    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Replying- it is quite a beautiful O ;)


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Actually, I'm 35% quality time, 32% words of affirmation (nothing to be embarrassed about), 23% physical touch.


    4 months ago
  • inanutshell

    i'm really glad this was metaphorical but also really sad that this is a reality for so many in America. and you're absolutely right, people hate on what they don't know or are afraid of. so go forth with that chainsaw.


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: I absolutely refuse to be kidnapped. Unless it's a place with cool writer 16 year olds and gluten free donuts.


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: I know, everyone says junior year is the hardest year of high school, and I'm terrified!! Prom is definitely not a thing though; my school doesn't even have one! We just have a formal spring dance. Plus, no one would ask me XD. I'm so not popular at my school lol and there honestly isn't anyone I'd go with tbh. I'd only go with someone I was friends with or knew well (that's all I'd be allowed to do anyway), and I only have two guy friends there who definitely wouldn't ask me (I don't think they even go to dances).


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Yep, I'll be a junior. Which is CRAZY, because I still feel like a freaking 8th grader.


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Oh, weird. I read the Birth Order Book for class which was super fun, and the only child personality is basically the oldest on steroids, so maybe you fit it better than you think. And I love how we're so close in age and height. So that makes you a freshman? I'm pretty much at the cutoff for sophomores I think. Which means your older than everyone and I'm younger.


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Yep, I'm a fellow middle child! Which is weird because I'm an older twin who has the personality of an only child. But I'll be 16 in September (WHAT?!?).


    4 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Replying: Haha, totally fine! <3 Dancing and singing at the same time can be hazardous lol :) You go, girl!!! *breakdances*


    4 months ago
  • black_and_red_ink

    You're an amazing writer. I know a lot of your pieces contain intense anger, but it's always justified and you only support violence in the context of self-defense. I really like how you write authentically and you don't mask the anger. because really, as PoC, us being angry makes a lot of sense.


    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    thank you sunny <3 one percented hugs are the best of them


    4 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    I'm so sorrrryyyy! That's terrible! But I must say you write with total accuracy! Amazing job!


    4 months ago
  • books4life

    your writing is full of darn honest truth and sucks the reader in from the very first word. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I totally agree with everyone else *claps*


    4 months ago
  • mia_:)

    I totally agree with asta and N. This is so powerful and raw and amazing! I hate how awful people can be, but you bring out the best in us! "i wondered if i forgot to wash off “alien” from my forehead that morning," is so powerful and is the line that really hit me in the gut. Keep writing! You really can change this world, one sentence at a time! (and you're an amazing gremlin of terror, so anyone who is awful and racist better watch their backs!)


    4 months ago
  • asta

    "and i heard the noise of my bones snapping, and it sounded like: “chink, chink.”" i--this was just so raw and so beautiful, and honestly? i have no words. imo, this is one of your best pieces to date. and as for the footnotes, i'm a pacifist, but stabbing a few people sounds very therapeutic, it's self-care, really.


    4 months ago
  • naomi ling

    this is... no words. so powerful and poignant. i love esp how POC have such a strong voice in this community with words. love this sunny :)


    4 months ago
  • amaryllis

    YES. I've wanted to write something like this for a long time, and maybe now I don't need to. I can just scream and ask for a chainsaw. :)


    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Ahhhhhh, this makes me scream on the inside. I hate racism and discrimination. I despise them! Keep fighting sunny.v because you are doing great! I stand with you. :)


    4 months ago
  • queenie hawthorne is garfield

    this makes me SO ANGRY. I can't even-


    4 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    I'm so sorry this happened<3 the way some people treat others is really disgusting.
    On another note:this is so well written.and I think I am falling in love with your pieces and it is going to become a problem! *follows*


    4 months ago
  • purplepanache

    wow. that was stunning. it's heartbreaking that anyone would be treated this way.
    on that note, i agree completely with N. girl, you don't need a chainsaw, write an effing poem!


    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    Replying- i can read and write, but the grammar is hard : ( i’d say 19% fluent mayhaps? also olive bits? Lmao. You’re the watermelon one percented bit (im running out of insults but a pinterest spree should fix that heh..


    4 months ago
  • N.

    the pain and power in this piece is unreal; every stanza hits hard for a different, distinct reason. this piece makes me ashamed of the times i haven't stood up against racist "jokes" or stereotypes. this piece makes me want to do better. forget the chainsaw, sunny, your words are even stronger. keep fighting :)


    4 months ago
  • Deleted User

    aw sunny you tragic one percent of a puppy dog ; ( this is so heartbreaking that people would treat others different for being asian. you keep your head up over there, stay safe
    also- to reply- arabic is my mother tongue, and i'm not fluent in russian, but am studying it in school ;) and it was worded fine you hissing beetle of one percent sea salt


    4 months ago
  • jun lei

    powerful and heartbreaking. thank you for writing this.


    4 months ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    footnotes are... everything??? *flashbacks to sunny saying i'll never be taller than her by any means*.
    message box: write anything you want. this piece is fricking amazing and i'll be darned if you ever apologize for it. the narrator's tone in this is absolutely phenomenal. apathetic yet spiteful, people need to read this. i know i say that about all your pieces but this is just too good. you're too good. wow this is just really fricking good okay i'm kinda at a loss for words.
    i hope the next decision you make brings you happiness <3


    4 months ago
  • poetri

    chainsaw gang up. i'm with you all the way, girl :)
    also so sorry this happened. people suck so much and honestly sometimes this country is so disgusting to me i just...i'm so ashamed, honestly.


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Ugh, I'm so sorry this happens sometimes! The fact that some people try to ruin this country for others leaves a bad taste in my mouth. On another note, this is quite well written.


    4 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    this is so powerful. yet again you've expressed the struggles of poc so articulately.
    honestly, a gremlin with a chainsaw is someone i don't think anyone would want to mess with, especially them racist assholes.


    4 months ago