ElsaRee

India

PERCABETH FAN..
15
Straight
Leo
Aspires to be a writer
Daughter of ZEUS
Gryffindor
LOVES reading
as free as wind
FIERCE LOVER
Member of the (unofficial) AHPU (Abnormal Height Peoples' Union)
Desperate Daydreamer
Proud Indian

Message to Readers

To all the strong girls in the world with lots of love <3 I would really appreciate feedback. LOVE YOU ALL! <3

Girl

June 14, 2020

FREE WRITING

13
 Girl stood in front of the mirror,
A carefree, young, naughty little face looked back and grinned.
Ah, she was too young to care about the world and even herself.

Girl smiled,
An older, more graceful girl, with bright eyes smiled back.
How optimistic she was, viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses!

Girl glanced,
A thinner, calmer, mature lass gazed back coolly.
She knew well enough that life wasn't a bed of roses.

Girl stared,
A skinny figure with messy hair and teary red face and wild eyes stared back.
Alas! She'd realised that life wasn't fair to her in any aspect and she was all alone.

Girl looked,
A plain and pale young woman with determined eyes folded her pencil-thin arms and said,
"Life is unfair but it must go on. So should I..."


 

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10 Comments
  • acrosstheuniverse28

    Oh my gosh, this piece hit me hard! I love the structure of this piece (with the italics at the end of each paragraph), and that last line is so powerful!


    about 2 months ago
  • Currently Unavailable

    Came back and read this and I LOVE IT EVEN MORE THAN I DID BEFORE! THIS PIECE WILL LIVE FOREVER!!!!! XD


    3 months ago
  • Paisley Blue

    BEAUTIFUL. I love this. One of my favorite ways to portray change is with an unchanging object or circumstance--such as the mirror. Amazing writing! <3


    4 months ago
  • bellairet

    Amazing how much feeling you can convey with those descriptions! I love the last lines of each stanza too. As others have said, really nails the stages of growing up.


    5 months ago
  • Sanjana Sunilkumar

    This is beautiful!
    btw, thanks for the latest comment you made on my piece!


    5 months ago
  • Currently Unavailable

    WOW. THIS IS SO GOOD; I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE WORDS TO DESCRIBE HOW GOOD THIS IS! I'm totally gonna drop a review. :)


    5 months ago
  • Mishthi Sharma

    Very motivating...Thank you


    5 months ago
  • Bhavya's Treasure

    Journey through the years beautifully portrayed! :)


    5 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    This piece really takes you through the years, tinged with just the right amount of sadness and as Emi said bittersweet feelings. Especially love how you finished with direct speech from the character, rather than the narrator speaking for her. Her tone sounds strong and determined. Great message <3


    5 months ago
  • Emi

    Wow, this really captures growing up and almost makes me feel a little sad. Rather a bittersweet work. Awesome job!


    5 months ago