He had stormed into our sanctuary. I was anxious to see him, it had been a stressful day. When he entered, I looked up, concerned.
“What all is the matter, my love?”
He fumed and stomped over to me, lifting me by the shirt. “You know damn well what’s the matter! You’re getting married? How could you? I thought you loved me.”
His eyes were red and puffy as if he’d already been crying for hours.
I grabbed his wrists to try to calm him. “I do love you-”
“Then why are you getting married?!” Should I tell him of my status? Does he already know? Will it even help? I’m not ready.
“I swear to god if you say ‘complicated’...” He exhaled sharply through his nose. His nails dug into my chest
“Well, it is!” I shouted, indignantly. My mind was racing. I kept trying to think of ways to not tell him the truth and still get him to stay.
“Nothing is that complicated.” He croaked, finally releasing me from his tight grip. He took a seat and ran his hands through his hair. He heaved a sigh, looking up at me with those eyes those brilliant green eyes filled with confusion sadness betrayal anger and, despite all the others, love.
“Please, explain to me why you’re getting married to someone other than... me. I thought we were gonna run away together after I gathered up the money. What about our plan? What about all the things I shared with you? All the promises? All the secrets? Did it all just mean nothing to you? Was our time together nothing?”
He held his head in his hands and sobbed loudly, his body raked and shook. I couldn’t bear to look at it so I reached out to soothe him. “No! That’s- That’s ridiculous, I love you-”
He flinched away from me and snapped. “Don’t touch me!”
like glass. How could the one I loved most flinch away from my touch?
How could he
look at me
written on his face?
“Just- just leave.” He pointed to the door and didn’t even lift his head to look me in the eyes.
“I’m not gonna leave you-”
“Go! I don’t want you here! I don’t want you!”
I jerked at his harsh words. The tears were falling freely and steadily. Nobody ever tells you
how wet and messy
when two men cry. “You don’t mean that.”
He finally looked up, his perfect green eyes were red. He shook with anger. “I sure as hell mean that! I hate you. I never wanna see you again.”
Oh, how it stung. You never forget that kind of pain. That burning. Like sandpaper
your chest. You never forget what it does to you.
I couldn't breathe.
were closing in.
on one thing,
the love of my life.
I would die for him,
I would kill for him.
I wanted to spend
of my life
I clutched my chest
like I'd been stabbed. Like he tore into me
with his words
and his glances
and his eyes.
“Gillian.” I tried one last time to reach out to explain to fix this to fix us.
“Please just- just go.” He turned from me and pointed behind him.
I exited through the trees, thinking he just needed some time and space to cool off. I thought that he’d be here the next day. I thought that we’d make up
- like we always do
because we loved each other - and I’d explain everything without telling him my real identity.
But when I came
to our sanctuary,
any lasting trace of my lover
Gillian was gone.
may or may not have cried while writing this. don't worry y'all they totally make up... or do they??