happy butterfly

South Africa

14
poet
swimmer
reader
a shy people's person
wtw's official little sister:)
special wtw sister to anne blackwood<3

Message to Readers

Feedback so darn appreciated

You did not paint with blues

June 12, 2020

FREE WRITING

7
Oh darling
words don't mean anything if they're empty
those beautiful words you plastered around my neck
now they sting
but wasn't it love?
but oh your words they painted beautiful galaxies
colours swarming my vision
deep purples,soft pinks,strong silvery colors
oh i should've known--i saw no blues
your touch on my cheeks
you laid delicate rose petals on my freckles
with such loving care
oh how beautiful you were
i guess i thought you could sing songs that could fill the sky forming clouds of melodies
oh you sang a beautiful song
but it vanished in thin air
oh love
you painted over my walls of dull greys
with passionate red
how beautiful it was
but I know now why you didn't paint them blue even though you knew it was my favourite colour
oh but you were beautiful
a beautiful that meant nothing 
I researched and found that the colour blue often represents truth.So that's how I used it.I would love feedback on this piece.Also I wasn't sure if  my meaning was clear so i was going to explain but i rather let you turn it into how it relates to you<3

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  • June 12, 2020 - 3:24pm (Now Viewing)

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5 Comments
  • CactusKid

    love the concept about colors!


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Hehe, I actually prefer roses; I just wanted the character to have a little quirk that the other person remembered. However, roses aren't my favorite flower. I adore the flower of my heart variation of camellia japonica, the eighteen scholars flower.


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: You're welcome. Get some rest. <3


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Replying: Aw, I'm tickled that you appreciate my feedback so much. That makes a lot of sense when you explain it, but I feel like you could incorporate it into the piece so there doesn't need to be an explanation. Even one extra line after the favorite color line like "blue was too truthful for you" or something with a similar feel.


    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    This is beautiful and thoughtfully written (I think). The one part that I feel needs help (gosh I can't think of a less condescending word - sorry, that's not my intention!) is the very end. You say you know why the person didn't paint the walls blue, yet you don't tell the readers. I love the two concluding lines, but I feel like you could add one or two right before them explaining the reason.


    6 months ago