Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
don't know if this is obvious, but this is about people-pleasing. I tend to be a people pleaser myself and wanted to show it on an extreme level. Seriously, people, helping others is really important, but don't do that particular thing if it hurts you! <3
I'd love feedback on the formatting here :D
this is the most in-depth analogy i've ever seen-an explanation into how society creates the people-pleaser. this is an analogy for fetishization of non-western women, the history of female abuse and incarceral suppression of POC (e.g. U.S.A. prison industrial complex, concentration camps), and yes, the demand for women to exist in relation to men, to serve as their pleasure whether it be being stuck forever in a secretarial position and not speaking up in office, or full on objectification. even with all of the often difficult topics, you managed to make it incredibly personal for these people in the story, and for you, bringing distant issues right back at home.
would these people ever fight back? what if the last line was replaced by such a story? I want to know how people realize the barriers the face that result in them having to cower to systems of power-and your analogy for that.
this piece is also amazingly dystopian-the descriptions aren't flowery or vivid, but bleak and gloomy and honest. i think this is really good because it matches the reality of both oppressive-suppressive structures and the thought process of individual people pleasers.