United States

new beginnings
new names
formerly palindrome but i needed some change
if any of y'all listen to the podcast the Magnus Archives please tell me!! i need a friend in that fandom!!! it's amazing!!
nerdy athlete

Message to Readers

alrighty folks guess who hasn't slept for several days? that's a secret i'll never tell. but anyways i was in A Place when i wrote this, please help me make it better. it's got definite crackhead energy for sure but constructive criticism is very welcome

Marco? Polo! WAIT WHAT???

June 10, 2020


          The night was dark. Duh. That’s what happens when the sun, the giver of all life on this crusty little planet, decides hey I’ve had enough of watching and caring for these ungrateful human beasts and just yeets over to the other side of the world.
          It was on one such of these nights that I began to question the frailty of human mindsets. What do you mean? you ask. Well, I’m glad you asked because boy do I have a story to tell. Also, if I don’t tell this story then I might self-combust from the pressure of the horrible knowledge I know hold within my soggy lasagna of a brain.
          Summertime- late nights, pool parties, hanging out with friends, discovering an entirely new species- wait what?
          My partner in crime, my crackhead supreme, my wobbly wheel on the grocery cart of life, Alan Smere, and I stayed up late stargazing.
          If you think it was romantic or sweet, you are dead wrong. I will spare you the details, but it consisted of a three-a.m. caffeine-induced tornado and some lost goldfish, ending with us laughing so hard the neighbors probably assumed the coyotes had finally snapped and kidnapped the mayor or something. I don’t know. What do normal people think? That is a secret they never tell.
          The stars had proved a disappointment, as always. City lights blocked most of the heavenly glow, so we just talked until our mouths were dry and our ribs sore from laughter.
          “Dude,” Alan whispered, “You know what I just realized?”
          I rolled over onto my side to find him staring, open-mouthed, at a point beyond this pale existence. “What?”
          “Waffles-“ He swallowed back a laugh. “Are just pancakes-“ He snorted, struggling to finish his sentence. “With abs.” He collapsed in a fit of hilarity. I joined in.
          “Sometimes I wonder if your brain even works,” I sighed once the laughter had abated.
          “What are you even talking about? That’s some legit galaxy brain stuff right there.”
          “True,” I conceded.
          We sat in silence for a bit, just enjoying the nice night.
          “I have an idea.” Alan popped up at my words, eager to hear more.
          “Do go on…” he said in a ridiculous fake British accent.
          “Do you want to have a bonfire or something? Not even a bonfire, just a small fire. It’s getting kind of cold out.”
          “I’m down for that.” He jumped to his feet and pulled me off the ground. “We do need wood…”
          “Into the woods we go!” I responded, gesturing towards the forest behind us.
          “Into the woods we go/ I hate to leave/ I have to though/ Into the woods to grandmother’s house!
          I laughed as he continued to sing off-key, leading the way towards the trees. “Just grab a bunch of sticks and stuff, we can figure out the actual fire stuff later,” I called to Alan as the tress began to envelop us. I heard his far-off reply and ventured in deeper, looking for some wood or something.
          Eventually I found enough to hopefully keep a fire going for a while. I honestly had no idea what to even do with the stuff, that I left to Alan.
          Speaking of which, where was he? “Dude! Where are you?” I yelled. He wasn’t nearby it seemed. “A-lan!”
          He didn’t respond. Must have wandered farther than I thought. Slowly I made my way through the forest. Suddenly the night seemed emptier than before. “Alan! What the heck, man? WHERE ARE YOU?” I began to believe he really could not hear me.
          In desperation I shouted, “Marco!”
          When the reply came, I was reassured. “Marco!” I tried again, moving towards the source of the sound. I was closer this time, I thought. “MARCO!”
          I froze. It seemed to be coming from everywhere. And not just from one person, either. “Marco?” I said, hesitantly.
          No fewer than twenty voices echoed out of the trees.
          And that is the story of how I discovered we have a secret society of magic dwarfs living in the forests of America. The aforementioned species is unable to resist the call of the legendary explorer Marco Polo.
          Anyways I still can’t find Alan. But I have a bunch of tiny dwarfs climbing all over my bedroom searching for a food source, so it’s not that different, right?


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  • June 10, 2020 - 12:50pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Chloe :) <3

    Replying: Contest Results are Out!

    about 1 month ago
  • Wisp

    I love this! It's absolutely hilarious and put a smile on my face. Especially the part where they were talking about how waffles are just "pancakes with abs."

    2 months ago