Peer Review by Writing4Life (Australia)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Rose's Flowers Chapter One :)

By: books4life


FREE WRITING

Chapter One: 
My full name is Rose Johnson. My parents didn’t give me a middle name, so when I was younger, I pretended my name was Anne. It had a nice ring to it. But, then I just got over that. 

I’m pretty tall, around 5 feet and 8 inches, if you can believe that, because my dad is pretty tall. My parents had me right after college and was not a planned child at all. It was a shock to my parents. I wonder if that has to do with my mom. See, my mom left for Chicago, to find herself or something, (can you do that in Chicago?), when I was just a little toddler. And she hasn’t come back. 

I can’t really blame her. Loveland, Ohio, is one of the smallest towns ever, with a small population of one thousand people. Everyone knows everyone and the busybodies love the small-town gossip, and my mom leaving us, well, they had a field day. 

So, my dad raised me on all his own. I used to daydream that my mom would come home, but once I got the gist she wasn’t coming back, that was okay with me. My dad works all the time, as he’s a big time lawyer in the city next to our town. 

I live on Elmer Street, right next door to my best friend, and perhaps one of my only friends, Danny. Danny’s real name is Daniel James Madison, Jr., which sounds really pretentious and stuck-up, but Danny is not like that at all. 

He’s a really tall, hilarious, and such sweet guy. We have been besties since kindergarten, when someone pushed Danny, and I punched the boy who did it. That was the first time I was happy to take a time-out, because I had made a new friend. 

Danny and I look nothing alike. Sure, we are both 16 and rising juniors at the local East High School, but that is where the similarities end. I have bright red hair and a gazillion freckles, with dull green eyes that pop against my pale, pale skin. And Danny has curly brown hair and brown eyes with naturally tanned skin. 

I like jalapeno cheddar popcorn, but Danny practically runs on sugar. I’m usually pretty extroverted with my flaming red hair, while Danny is shy and sweet, like a boxer puppy. We do play video games together, I usually win, and we both now work. Yay. Not. 

Danny’s the lifeguard this summer at the community pool, lucky, and I’m stuck with the elderly Ms. Ruth, with plants. Plants. 

Irony has it out for me. The girl who is named after a plant works at a plant shop, with her rose-colored hair. And I’m a sucker for romance, and of course, I binge The Bachelor, where they hand out roses. Yeah. Danny thinks I’m crazy, but I love the drama and romance, even though it really is ironic. 

Which is probably why I’m crushing on the most, unavailable guy at our school: Hunter Smith. Hunter is the stereotypical popular guy: good at sports, dates the hottest cheerleaders, and has the most gorgeous blond hair. Not that I have noticed. *cough, cough* 

My life sometimes is predictably unpredictable. That makes no sense, but you’ll see why. Just you wait. 

Let me know what u think!! 

Peer Review

It's quite interesting! It's like one of those interesting stories, that might not have a super out-there storyline, but is still really interesting and enjoyable. (I like those stories)


There are a few lines that are unneeded, and some incorrect grammar, but overall, I think it's pretty good!


Reviewer Comments

Great job! This is really good (I can see a little of the Bachelor in it :D) Keep Writing <3