spectral

United States

黃愛莉
help girl, i feel a different heartbeat inside my chest.
50~ Sept. 2020

all our broken hearts on display

June 27, 2020

FREE WRITING

14
all our broken hearts on display
    for everyone to see
        people are gawking
                             gawking 
                                 gawking
                too many eyes 
                          eyes
                      eyes
     eyes follow us.
           you can see the pity sketched
                            on their faces.
                            too many faces.
                            too many.
         why are we here
              we need to leave.

         is that what we are to them?
              are we just fractured objects to observe
                broken paintings to ogle
          shattered pieces of glass laid bare
                                               laid bare
              for the world to see

 everyone is a stranger
                     stranger
          maybe they’re laughing
                                laughing at us.
                                laughing behind our backs
                                                              ‘look at them’
                                                        ‘naive’
                                                             ‘stupid.’
                                      ‘those kids should have known.’
                                                  does no one care about
                                                                                    us?
someone grabs our arm
                      he tells us to calm down.
                                                                 calm dOWN?
                                           it’s all in our head
                                                all in our head
                         that’s what he said,           anyways.
                                           but it's still real, right?
                                                                     right?
                                     everything is spiraling out of control
another gripes at us to choose better next time.
                                                there won't be a next time.
                                          will there?
                                                 we can't think past right now
                                                                              right now
                                                it blends
                                     it all blends together


                        we’re drowning
                                           drowning
                                                       drowning
    too much noise.
            TOO MUCH NOISE.
                                 it’s all so
                                                                          L       O       U       D       .
hellooooo. as you can see here, the narrator(s? it's a bit wonky) of this poem are having some sort of panic attack... i don't really know what to say except... thanks for reading? i didn't quite know how to end it, so that's why it's so abrupt.

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8 Comments
  • Eblinn

    The echo-effect, the formatting... This is unearthly wonderful!


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    came back to reread—again, your formatting is otherworldly.


    5 months ago
  • Mesofishie

    dude this is amazing!! I love how the structure reflects the content. super thought provoking.


    5 months ago
  • joella

    like everyone else said before, the jagged formatting definitely complements the sheer panic of this piece. great work!


    6 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    yeah, that ending was the perfect killer ending for this piece. Love the formatting. Very accurate portrayal of a panic attack in word form. Beautiful in a broken way :D


    6 months ago
  • sunny.v

    your formatting did justice to the panic of the piece! awesome job.


    6 months ago
  • spurtsofdarkness

    abrupt is good! this is really nice, especially how you frame it, with the jagged sentences :) Love it


    6 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Wow! This is so interesting! I totally got the panicky vibe and I love how the formatting kind of complements the whole spiraling out of control thing! Great job!


    6 months ago