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~your local angst-y Christian girl~


soli Deo gloria!

Message from Writer

>call me "doodle" :)

>check out my series "stereo tropes co." where story tropes run amuck in an office setting!

~"you write so beautifully. your mind must be a terrible place."~
always on the lookout for tragic backstories and broken characters. :D

one too many | #randomthoughts_2

August 2, 2020



There used to be six of us...
Now I'm alone.
"It was today, wasn't it?" I mumble to no one but myself, hands clasped tightly behind my back. My uniform is starting to itch again, sending pricks along the back of my neck. I pass my desk, cluttered with parchments I need to read over and sign, then send to the various camps in the war zone. 
I'm alone. 
"Seven years doesn't feel like a long time," I stride over to the wall in front of me, and stroke my infamous prized weapon, index finger running along the blade. "It's I'm still there."

"They're breaking through!" Harper screams as an explosion sends a shock wave through the campgrounds. The six of us totter, trying to regain our balance. 
"Get all your soldiers to the front lines!" Eli commands each one of us, his most loyal generals, friends since primary military academy, as he sprints out of the tent. 

I grab the hilt of my blade and follow him outside.

I clutch my head. The memory always brings back a bout of searing pain. 
But this time...this time is different.
Maybe it's because one of the letters on my desk is stamped with the insignia I used to march under. 
It arrived some days ago, but I've been putting off reading it, because I know who it's from. An old friend turned bitter enemy. 
The memory roars to life in my mind.

I turn at my name.
"Anima," I nod once. She's bawling. Nothing like the stoic face I usually see on her, the Fearless Warrior, 3rd General of Commander Eli. 
​"Eli!" she sobs. "He--he's dead! They killed him!"
I silently wipe my bloodstained blade on my robe. She doesn't notice.
"I know."
"What do we do?!" she looks at me, trusting me, listening to me. 

"We'll figure something out."
She doesn't see it coming.

I let out a harsh yell and turn on my heel. 
I never had regrets. I still don't have regrets. I take in the room, the flag on the wall, the golden furnishings and decorative plates that we're so well known for. 
This, THIS is my homeland, my country, these are my people. 
From the beginning, I knew I was the mole.
I never grew attached.
I never...

​"We've never had this much trouble before," Zurgan rides to me on his steed, armor dirtied with blood, sweat, and tears. He shakes hair out of his eyes. "I can't believe Eli and Anima..."
I shake my head as well. "I know, it''s crazy."
I clear my throat. "But some of my scouts reported that there's an opening along the river towards that way." I point in said direction. "You might be able to ambush them from there. It's a tight squeeze though."
"I'll take a few soldiers with me," Zurgan salutes me. "Onward to victory, Ro. Let us fight for our friends' honor. I'll catch up with you later."
​With a chilling battle cry, he rides forth.
Into a trap.
My trap.

No, no, this can't be happening now. I can't be...
They trained me for this. Every week I'd sneak out and remind myself what my purpose is. Why now all of a sudden do I--?
Do I care?
Eli's terrible puns, Zurgan's cooking, Anima's smile she always hid, Harper's love for late-night talks, Liu--

"Rokuro, is it only us left?" Liu's desperate eyes meet mine and I nod solemnly. 
​"Do you think we should retreat?" she looks down at the map on the table. We're back in our headquarters tent, because most every other tent is gone. 
I don't say anything. 
I remember my proud parents' faces when I told them I would execute the plan. I remember the witch-doctors performing their rituals on me, bending my brain, messing up the signals, so that connections would not be made, attachments would not grow, friendships would not deepen. I never cared. 
"Rokuro?" Liu's voice is smaller now and for a moment, there's no battle going on, it's just us. 
"You...I always liked you the best," I choose on saying. 
​She doesn't have time to react. Soldiers burst through, ripping through the tent, grab Liu and haul her onto a cart. As I take off the insignia of her country, I put on the insignia of my country. 
"They're all dead, sir?" one of the soldiers asks me. "All the Generals and the Commander?"
"They all will be," I clasp my hands tightly behind my back. "All except me."

I don't care, I don't care, I don't care--
I suck in a harsh breath. My vision is spinning. 
I need the witch-doctors again. I need to purge this emotion from my heart. I need to stop--
I need to take my mind off this. 
I grab a random letter from my desk and break open the seal. 
I let out a strangled cry as I recognize the handwriting. 

Commander Rokuro.

I am still alive.
Perhaps you thought you killed me seven years ago. But you underestimated the Second General of the late Commander Eli. 
However, now I speak to you as a Commander myself. My, how far we've both come.
You thought you could leave me behind, betray us, murder your comrades without repercussions?
I'm not leaving you Rokuro. 
I'm coming for you.
Perhaps...there is still hope for you.

Onward to victory,
Commander Liu

P.S. I always liked you best as well.

I pick up another letter, one that arrived today, tied in blue ribbon; a good sign, a sign of victory in battle. 
My fingers tremble as I pull the ribbon loose.

Hail Commander Rokuro.

​It is my pleasure to inform you that we engaged with Commander Liu's troops...

My eyes skim over the words, heart pounding, spirits sinking.

...we struck the Commander down...

...she is dead...

I bury my head in my hands, crumpling the letter in my fist. 
I killed them, I killed my friends. I care, I do care now, seven years too late. 
I hate myself. 
I fall to my knees, alone in my room. 
There used to be six of us.
Now there's just one.
One too many. 

Word Count: 930

for prompt 2 of V-Rose's wonderful contest

Yes I'm back with more depressing stuff. What can I say, I love writing tragedies. :D


See History
  • August 2, 2020 - 10:20pm (Now Viewing)

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  • Stone of Jade

    WOAH! this. is. amazing. the whole background/flash thing between present and past events is genius and makes you relate to the characters (from what little is known) without diving in too deep of a story. its the perfect amount. and the way the tone softens at the end of "present" stanzas made me catch my breath--especially the little repeated phrases. ugh it makes you really feel the emotion. amazing job!!!

    10 months ago
  • V-Rose

    Contest Results are out! Come see:

    10 months ago
  • Emi

    This is so amazing! I love the twist at the end; you so masterfully put character development even though it was so short! Great work!

    11 months ago
  • Lucy J Kassel

    Wow. This really was amazing. I usually don't have a long enough attention span to read more than a few words but this was really a work of art. I really like it when he says how he didn't regret it, he never did but the reader can tell he does. Although it does not have the most satisfying ending, it is still beautiful and a very powerful message.

    11 months ago
  • Mishthi Sharma

    A story that sticks you to the screen. Awesome work.

    11 months ago
  • V-Rose

    OH MY STARS! I have been struck down by words once more! This was amazing! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to read this.

    11 months ago