inanutshell

Singapore

she/her/illiterate

Message to Readers

"feel the wind start to change/take me through the night/no I'm not far away/from the brightest side" - katelyn tarver, somebody else

i was whole to begin with

June 14, 2020

PROMPT: This I Believe

14
years later,
when the stars finally align
and i scramble to cherish my true value,
i wonder:

if it'll be too late to retrace my steps
and bring back the fire i extinguished in me
when it was too bright, and i was too blind
to see what i could truly become.

if i can ever learn to forgive myself -
the only self i will ever have
and be my own guide out of the darkness,
no matter how timid my flame may be.

maybe someday i will unearth
the parts of myself i tried to label
and forgive my broken pieces.
no matter the permanence of the damage,
someday i will make a home out of this body
and let my edges fit together so that i can finally see
that i was whole to begin with -
and this i believe.
i used to fantasize about my life just magically falling together; as i've grown older i understand it's more of the work you put in and the circumstances around you. it's definitely easier said than done, and life has certainly tested this belief over the past couple of years. but some small part of me knows that i could definitely be happy with myself someday, just holding out hope until then.

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7 Comments
  • Emi

    I love this message! It's so encouraging in a serious, down-to-earth sort of way! Totally agree with it, too!


    6 months ago
  • sunny.v

    this is amazing! “ no matter the permanence of the damage,
    someday i will make a home out of this body ” i LOVE these lines. the idea of embracing yourself, flaws and all, after a lifetime of wishing yourself to be perfect—such a great idea, and hits so close to home. i wish you well in the future <3 amazing work!
    (Ps hehe thank you for your comments! truthfully, i hold your comments especially close to my chest. you’ve lit up my day on many occasions. i can’t thank you enough for that!! <3 )


    6 months ago
  • journal.scribbles

    Replying: Thank you so much for the comment! I loved your title suggestion so I republished my poem with the title. I hope that's okay. Thank you!!!


    6 months ago
  • joella

    ooh i love this! the message here is so real and relatable... here's to a journey of shared happiness and growth *champagne*


    6 months ago
  • happy butterfly

    Beautiful <3


    6 months ago
  • thelostave

    Beautiful. Powerful. Wonderful.


    6 months ago
  • Eblinn

    This is a beautiful message, and it's true that life needs constant work to become something.
    "someday i will make a home out of this body
    and let my edges fit together so that i can finally see"
    That's just wonderful, I love the fact that you want to make your body your home!


    6 months ago