rat in a hat

United States

i'm pretentious and annoying but i think that's okay, i own two lava lamps. i love spider-man, ABBA, anything muppet-related, bill and ted, and john everett millais' rendition of ophelia. i hate sitcom laugh tracks.

chaotic good

Message from Writer

love your friends and be as stupid as you can be <2

where a third eye should be, but i am not so lucky

June 8, 2020


there is a hole inside my head
where i peek through
i can poke one finger out, to look and grasp around
but i cannot wrench myself out of here.

there is a bullet wound near my heart
it is red and black and yellow
dirty and diseased and leaking with pus
it has tried to heal time and time again
over and over but i will not let it.
i want it to fester. 
i want to remember.

i am stuck inside a tower
like rapunzel (but my hair's too short, so it's a simile and not a metaphor)
i am trapped inside a box, floating in the ocean
and i can breathe but i cannot see the shore
"i would like to get out, please"
is something i have asked, teary-eyed and snotty
is something i have screamed, till my throat turned hoarse
i have cried for it until every bone ached and my stomach lurched
i have begged until my knees were rubbed raw
skinned, i ask for mercy.
you could be so kind, at least.
and i see its silhouette lurking, not directly but out of the corner of my eye
i know that i see its form, i am sure this time,
but mercy never comes.

so i am sorry, and i am defeated.
no more looking in the mirror; i cannot bring myself to tell my childhood the truth of its future
i cannot stare into my eyes.
nothing is looking back but a finger wrestling with my skull, my skin
trying in vain to create a bigger hole
so more of me can peek through.


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  • BeTheChange18

    Wow! What an amazing piece! There is so much talent packed in, you blew me away!

    6 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    "like rapunzel (but my hair's too short, so it's a simile and not a metaphor)" WHAT you are just so freaking talented

    6 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    whoa I love the stunning imagery of a hole opening up and more of you peeking through. This was awesome :)

    6 months ago