"That wasn't according to plan... not that I had a plan." -Zane Flynt, Borderlands3.
Christian, Caramel
15, I enjoy writing from time to time, a weirdo
Way too much tea
and way too much music
Also, check out all my followers :)

Message from Writer

"Am I the only one I know
Waging my wars behind my face and above my throat
Shadows will scream that I'm alone
But I know, we've made it this far, kid."-Twenty-OnePilots
"So darken your clothes, or strike a violent pose
Maybe they'll leave you alone
But not me"-MyChemicalRomance
"We can't speed up the hands of time
But if we're meant to I'll meet you there."-5SecondsOfSummer
"I got troubled thought and the self-esteem to match
What a catch."-FallOutBoy
"'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told I never was yours
The fear of falling apart."-Panic!AtTheDisco

There's ribbons sliding up and down my arms and I can't rip them off.

June 6, 2020


I sometimes think of sin as a backpack full of smog and black ribbons of tar. 
It’s very heavy and it leaks onto me.
It grabs me and climbs up my arms. The smog wraps around me.
It fills my eyes. My head feels dizzy. 
All I can see is vile demonstrations. Things clearly wrong, others not too sure. 
But they all have a black-purple tinge to them, and they're all really greasy. They all feel wrong.
I feel my heart burst in my chest. My lungs being filled with this sickness.
I can only see it, hear it, breath it. And it consumes me.
And then I see Him. His light slices through the black ribbons tying my arms together.
It clings to my eyelids and the smell stays on my clothes. 
I’m not clean.
But He is.  
He holds out His hand to me. I dare not touch it, or I might taint his purity.
The tar clings to me and plays with my mind. Everything seems warped.
It whispers in my ears, pours itself down my back.
He doesn’t want you. You worthless, filthy waste of life. 
Just give yourself to me.

It stabs me, shakes me, chokes me, and I want to give up.
And then He comes out of the dark. He steps up to me.
He simply pats the top of my head.
He doesn’t speak, He just takes my burden. He pulls the ribbons out one by one.
Out of my eyes, my hair, my skin.
My soul.
He never stops smiling at me, though I keep stifling sobs.
He will never not sit with me, never stop working with me to pull every single strand out.
It isn’t easy for me to even see them, but He knows where they are.
He shows me where they are and asks me to try to pull them out. 
I always fail, and He always forgives me.
So even when the ribbons invade my eyes and ears.
Even when the smog is so thick I can’t see Him.
Even if every inch of my skin is thick with it.
I know He’s there with me, pulling out the strands one by one.
And when I do see Him, I remember His smiles and His fatherly pats on the hea
And keeps on prying out the strands,
One by one.
I was in kind of a dark place a while ago and I wrote this as I was climbing out.
I just found it again and I still really like it, having an analogy was really crucial for giving me strength.
:D I hope it helps you too


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  • June 6, 2020 - 3:51am (Now Viewing)

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  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    This is great!! It’s incredible!! Oh my gosh! The feeling, the metaphor, the quality— this is incredible. I love it.
    (Also your bio—quotes from four of my favorite bands?!!? Yes please!! I think you would probably enjoy Black Veil Brides as well, go check them out.)

    6 months ago
  • Stone of Jade

    One, This is super good!! Such feeling is so moving.
    Two *replying* : I'm not stuck with the names I chose. They were more filler names but then I liked them and now they are getting kind of tiring. Idk tho lol. Thanks for your feedback!

    6 months ago