Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
somewhat inspired by lydia davis’s short stories.
feedback is very very much appreciated. comments & reviews mean the world!
I love the sensory details in this piece, they're so vivid and make me feel as if I'm there with you. The lines "I cannot cut a tomato without / splintering its bones" are phenomenal -- nice job!!! I also admire how you took a "normal" occurrence, per se, something that I struggle with too (I can never seem to cut tomatoes without splattering them either!) and elaborated on it in a way that made it seem so profound. The way I see it, the poem illustrates cutting a tomato as an act of extreme focus, almost a metaphor in a way. I absolutely love how you were able to take this simple event and turn it into that, awesome work!! :)
The sensory details in this piece are so intriguing that the only suggestion that I can think of is one that is a little out-of-the-ordinary. You've titled the piece "Making Dinner," so I would perhaps consider how it might enhance your piece if you described what you are making. This brings up an opportunity to add in even more sensory details and perhaps a recipe, or dish, that is important and personal to you and your family. By adding this into the piece, I feel as though it may add a whole new level to the poem. However, feel free not to omit to this suggestion as your piece is so well done already, I love the formatting as well as the authentic image you've cast in my mind.
Overall, this was a really fun piece to read and review!! Awesome job, I'll be looking out for more of your writing on this site!! If you ever have any questions about Write the World just let me know!! :)