Peer Review by lianhabanana! (Australia)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


Ocean #LBC12

By: Writing4Life


FREE WRITING

The sword flashed before his eyes, and he fell backwards, into the freezing ocean. The water surrounded him, splashing into his eyes and mouth. He gasped, and spit out the salty water. Looking around, he saw nothing, except..A dark fin slicing through the water. He screamed and tried to climb onto the dock. The dark glinting eyes of his nemesis flashed before him, and he was kicked into the water.


Message to Readers

For user, lianhabanana! contest. Link here: https://writetheworld.com/groups/1/shared/167050/version/330845


Peer Review

I really liked the ending. At first I was thinking "will he climb back onto the dock?" And then the "and he was kicked into the water" part was so good and I think you really captured what it means to write a flash fiction. :)


I think that it would be nice to have a bit of backstory of the two main characters in the story. Even just one sentence or something like that but considering that it's a flash fiction I think it doesn't need any additions. :) Well done!


Reviewer Comments

You did a fantastic job on this piece, well done!

Have a great day!
Review 3 out of 8. :)