joella

United States

she/her | high school | wasian | enfp

"i breathe color into deflated rubber lungs, a latex fairy godmother"

formerly ★ white mountains ★

Message to Readers

​​! TRIGGER WARNING !
many others have spoken out on this website far more eloquently, but i would be amiss in my duty as a human being in this country if i did not speak out too in any way i could.
these pieces express the sentiment i was trying to far better than i did. please check them out.
https://bit.ly/2MoIB2G (sunny.v)
https://bit.ly/2U1V800 (the contrarian)
https://bit.ly/2XrsLe1 (Norah)

REPOST to include this (compilation of resources to create change by babybluelamentations! please check it out)
https://bit.ly/3dCAnA6

beneath melanin, all blood is red #blm

June 4, 2020

FREE WRITING

23
white boy at the protest wearing his trump shirt inside out, he is ashamed enough to show up, he's holding the MAGA hat against his chest / an indian girl heckles from the crowd: "if you're doing that, own it" / he turns his shirt around, fragile pride clearly stung, gives the shaky smartphone the bird and saunters off

hiding beyond the comfortable anonymity of a blue light screen, opinions peppered throughout the comment section: "black lives matter? all lives matter" / "if you protest with violence, you're proving their point that you should be locked up" / "12% of the american population, 50% of the crimes" / "good for him" this one is a girl i know. my heart is heavy with disappointment, but my vision is clouded with anger / ignorance is bliss for the privileged 

i go to war with strangers online, battling for over an hour
i am not black. but i stand with you.

hell in the streets, warped metal and the bare skeletal remains of buildings that once stood / sparks ignited in many hearts and the fire melted livelihoods / many black people have spoken out: "destroying the lives of innocent people will not help heal the divide" / no milk for the stinging eyes of justice warriors / ghosts of bruised skin on concrete / and the blue badge is forever tainted in this century / if you don't know the pain, how can you judge the response?

not everyone is always entitled to their uneducated opinion

yes. there are two side to every story / flip side on every copper coin / but you, vanilla skin and honey hair, you are not oppressed, no matter how much you crave it / don't talk about lost jobs and the good policemen when you did not shed a single tear, did not devote a single thought, did not utter a single word for the memory of george floyd 

to those who speak out:
we will walk together with our brothers amidst the gunfire
certain details of this piece may be confusing, but please take it up with me in the comments before assuming i meant something i did not. i sincerely hope i don't offend anyone, as when i'm writing a piece in the heat of the moment, things sometimes come across the wrong way.

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  • June 4, 2020 - 3:13pm (Now Viewing)

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10 Comments
  • mia_:)

    Wow! So powerful! I honestly cannot compliment this as eloquently as the others did, but this is so stunning and you should be extremely proud for writing something so amazing and important and impactful!


    5 months ago
  • elliem

    Reply: I just retitle it (without changing anything in the body text/footnotes) and then press “unpublish” and then “publish for peer review”


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    replying: you’re so sweet!! i’m just...:( thank you. you’re awesome jo. also whoaaa you managed the make the link small in your bio...ah, tech savvy people lol saving the world one link at a time!


    5 months ago
  • ava09

    This is simply stunning. Like sunny.v said, for the "heat of the moment" it's incredible calm and collected, and sunny.v honestly already pointed out everything I would have as did babybluelamentations and just you are really amazing. Your words have meaning and power, and there are lots of us who are standing in similar shoes to you right now. Sending hugs and support to you and all who need it. <3


    5 months ago
  • babybluelamentations

    darling, this is stunning. “if you don't know the pain, how can you judge the response?” is such a perfect line. can i start using that in arguments??? everything in this piece is phrased in such a collected and refined way, yet it still incites that anger and need to do something that we should all be feeling towards the situation right now. please keep writing. you’re amazing <3


    5 months ago
  • poetri

    i adore this...getting to watch your writing get even more incredible with every post is one of the best parts of wtw :)


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    oh gosh, i love this so much. your writing in the heat of the moment is so much more calm and collected than me. I love love how you write out your ideas. “ i go to war with strangers online, battling for over an hour / i am not black. but i stand with you.” yeah. i felt that. “not everyone is always entitled to their uneducated opinion ” and “ if you don't know the pain, how can you judge the response?” literally gave me chills. AMAZING. “ ut you, vanilla skin and honey hair, you are not oppressed, no matter how much you crave it” i’m gonna go cry now. siiiiiiigh. you’re a genius as always. *hugs cause i’m angry and hurt and sad*


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    Oh okay
    Replying: Ha I doubt I'll get there but thanks


    5 months ago
  • joella

    @Anne Blackwood
    i should've made this clear- it's a description of a video i saw online. next stanza discusses some of the comments i found.


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I don't quite understand what you're saying about the MAGA hat boy


    5 months ago