Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
I was intrigued by the topic of this essay. I do not know many people with severe food allergies, so it was interesting to see that it is truly a very significant problem to be dealing with. I enjoyed learning about the role of food allergies in relationships and was somewhat shocked to hear that it impacted the way the person with food allergies was perceived. The way you describe a food allergy is almost the way some people describe their chronic illnesses. It reminds me of this video I once watched about a person with epilepsy who said "epilepsy has affected every aspect of my life, from employment to my participation in sports". The way you treat the subject matter with such gravity and sensitivity drives home the importance of food safety.
Kudos to you for making this piece seem like something so much more than food, something that is literally a matter of life or death. I felt that the interactions of people with food allergies with society were brilliantly portrayed, and I liked the reference to a family gathering at Thanksgiving. However, I really wanted to know more about how your food allergies affected your relationship with the people around you. Do you get special treatment because of your allergies? Do people ever make you feel guilty for being a "picky eater"? What are the emotional consequences of such actions to yourself or others?
I really want to know more about how food allergies have impacted your relationships with your friends and family. You mention that other people have been bullied for it, and that you've been fortunate not to have similar experiences, but how do you think you would have been viewed differently if you didn't have a food allergy? Furthermore, I wanted to know more about how you felt emotionally in the moments when your food allergy impacted the way you interacted with people and society, like the anecdote you gave about the nurse saying you "cheated". How did it make you feel?
I love the beginning. It absolutely highlights the magnitude of the problem of unsafe food in the context of food allergies and is very concise in doing so. I like that the last sentence of your first paragraph is a clear transition and progression into your discussion of how this issue has affected you personally.
I love this piece! I love the tone, the balance between anecdotes used as evidence and calls to action for more rigid enforcement of food safety regulations. I love the questions you interspace in the prose that brings it alive through dialogue.
Keep writing! It is a strong piece and I thoroughly enjoyed having the opportunity to review it.