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Message to Readers
I REALLY need some feedback! <3
I love how the writer wrote about their own experience. The tone was sweet but powerful.
They focus on their life and others that have celiac disease. It also focuses on allergies in general.
Maybe throw some emotions in there to really convince the reader that allergies are a BIG thing. Maybe tell them what it was like. How did it feel?
Yes! It's the same thought for all, with or without allergies. If someone was unproperly handling the food, it may cause diseases, viruses, or even the food that you are allergic to get into your food. The hook was fantastic!
GO, Mia! We are all rooting for you! You can do this! Your essay is already amazing! With a few more edits and Voila! a wonderful essay!
sorry if I was a bit harsh on the comments. And I am so sorry this is a bit late. I finished half of it and then fell asleep. (usual me) and forgot about it. I am so sorry:(
On a side note: Your essay was amazing!