Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.
Message to Readers
PLEASE PEER REVIEW BEFORE JUNE 16! THANK YOU! Will you let me know if the fourth and fifth paragraph need more improvements? Thank you!
I love the extensive and detailed images you create here. They completely immerse the reader into the atmosphere of a Chinese restaurant- something that was an integral part of your childhood.
This definitely goes beyond food in the sense that you've established strong connections with your childhood, family, Chinese heritage and the people you have grown up with. I like how you've explored that through vivid descriptions and episodes that have taken place throughout your life.
Probably the last part of the fourth paragraph. Where you mention that your lifestyle changed as you got older. Perhaps you could add instances of how you felt a little away from your culture and heritage once you moved to Arizona? And how different the atmosphere is over there as opposed to California.
Yes, for sure. Detailed images that involve the senses have been used exceptionally well. Makes you want to keep reading.
This is a really great piece! You have a real talent for weaving memories into your writing that I would love to see more of in the future. :)
Good luck and welcome to WtW!