Peer Review by inkandstars (United States)

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The Picture

By: sci-Fi


The picture hung above my desk, the centerpiece of a cluster of photos and paintings. That black and white image with the splash of red in a place where I could always see it. 

I flash back to that 8-year old-morning. They had curled my hair and let me wear lip gloss. They told me to choose from a number of poofy dresses, and even at eight, I chose the black one. That strapless black mass of tulle was so heavy it kept slipping down my little-girl's chest. They had put a big red flower in my hair. Apparently it matched the one on the waistband of my gown. Good thing too, because the flower was the only thing I really liked.

I remember seeing another girl, a teenager, in the second photo shoot room. Her hair was straight and choppy, and she was clothed in a plain tank top and damaged jeans. Her background was a stained brick wall, unlike my pristine white. I wish I could've been in those pictures.

They must've taken at least 50 photos of me, but in the end we only got two. The black and white with a splash of red that hangs above my desk, and a photo strip of a colorful one that said my name in cursive. 

The one that hangs in my room is probably the most grown up photo that was taken that day. It's not girlish or overly colorful. My hair cascades in a was of chocolate curls. My eyes look full and dark and I'm not smiling, just looking at the camera as though daring the photographer to say "smile!" 

Please. Even then, if I didn't want to, I didn't smile for the camera.

Peer Review

It was super poignant. I could relate to this easily without having been through the same experience as you. The emotions you expressed here were subtle yet when you noticed them, it's like BAM HERE IS A BUNCH OF FEELINGS but like in a good way.

I think if we got some more information about why the photoshoot was taking place maybe? but idk honestly this is super good. I would love to see more about where the photo hangs, how it looks among everything else you see near your desk, etc.

Reviewer Comments

Well written and pleasing to read. A few grammar mistakes here and there, but overall well written. Can't wait to read more of your stuff!