Peer Review by Huba Huba (United States)

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siblings?

By: amazing grace


FREE WRITING

(her)

how can this be true? 
i never would have guessed

(him)

i don't know what to do
i tried my very best

(both)

this is the lowest point
i guess it's like an aching joint

(her)

we felt so close
but were ripped apart

(him)

just goes to show
that you should be careful who you let into your heart

(both)

siblings shouldn't be a thing
as much as that diamond ring

(her)

we fought we loved
until we heard

(him)
that it would never be enough
with that word

(both)

our love won't be the same
it never will
but maybe we won't cave
just be still

 

word count 109

this is about two lovers who before they married found out they were siblings.

Peer Review

This is a very interesting piece, and the switching between the him and her outlines multiple perspectives while pointing out similar ideas, how devastating this would be.


I think it would've been better to put in more emphasis on how it feels as if the world ended for them. "I don't know what to do" could have the second line be something like "it feels as if life cannot go on." This is a good piece!


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