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United Kingdom

Message to Readers

Was the rhyme okay and did it flow well? Was the message and the narrative clear?

﹌ Tacenda - #Howdy ﹌

May 26, 2020

FREE WRITING

16
Tacenda 

I was alone in the hotel pool, 
Aqua ripples shining in the sun.
    Sipping beer like a drunken fool, 
     Wasting dying days with dead fun.
         My wife and girls were fast asleep 
         In our room rightly unaware 
             Of the secret I’d soon have to keep 
             Of what happened when you were there.

             I was alone in the hotel pool, 
             Sniffing the chlorine of San Juan.
         When you appeared, so handsome, so cool, 
         Your hair sun fair, your skin bronze tan. 
      You wore a silver watch and gold ring, 
      Said you came for a morning swim. 
   You had a queen and you were a king
   And often kings need a getaway whim. 

We were alone in the hotel pool, 
Your abs tinted blue and green.  
   Talking about ‘man’ stuff without a rule; 
    Told me your name was Patrick Sheen.  
      You owned a business selling swimming shorts 
      That dived into wealthy waters of fame. 
         Your perfect voice took over my thoughts; 
         Your ideal nature was all to blame.

        We were alone in the hotel pool,
        Your face and mine in holiday diamonds. 
     Said we were alike and each other’s tool, 
     Said my eyes were nicer than almonds. 
   A storm came and the calmness changed, 
  You touched my arm in a manner uncouth. 
Your face came close, dazed and deranged;
 I couldn’t resist when you kissed my mouth. 
                
 You kissed me in the hotel pool, 
 Shards of our reflections intertwined. 
    Your lips the fineness of a ruby jewel, 
     Your hips the splendour of mankind. 
        I cupped your face, you bit my teeth, 
        I stroked your arm, you tapped my thigh,  
           Following you as you went beneath, 
           Until there you left me to perish and die. 
           
        You kissed me in the hotel pool 
        But then climbed out, your face a frown. 
      I leaned that nature’s wrath is cruel, 
    To be in despair and left to drown. 
  You were quiet, but the storm was still violent, 
  Shamed to be two kings and the same gender. 
Crystals dripped as you slipped away silent, 
Telling me that together we were a tacenda. 
( 346 WORDS ) 

~~~ 

Tacenda - unspoken or better left unsaid. 

~~~ 

Hello! This is my submission for the #Howdy contest, prompt 2, by @batman_is_a_cracker. Although, this is a contest submission, I had so much fun writing it and I would love to develop the idea of these characters and their intimate moment further some day. 
 

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  • May 26, 2020 - 2:20pm (Now Viewing)

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6 Comments
  • batman_is_a_cracker

    Howdy. Thanks for entering in my comp! I know I'm supposed to be relatively impartial but this is just... WOW! Great job and good luck~


    6 months ago
  • sunny.v

    i love this beyond words! i’d love to see more of the characters, wow. you really perfectly set up such a heavy and intimate atmosphere.


    6 months ago
  • birthdaycandles

    Absolute art.


    6 months ago
  • Eblinn

    I love this! So good!


    6 months ago
  • outoftheblue

    yes Ellen! I love this! I can't even pick my favourite line because this is all so stunning.


    6 months ago
  • joella

    I love the rhyme scheme and the wave-like formatting! the narrative is definitely clear. good luck in the competition!


    6 months ago