N.

United States

INTP | science & art | leo

watercolor & sea salt

my goal is to become a cryptic elderly soapmaker.

very gay, very liberal, credible knowledge is power

member of the lady knights guild

Joined Sep. 2018

Message to Readers

this probably gives off hella toxic vibes but i promise at least half of this is hyperbole. although a lot of it is still based on current life problems. just a disclaimer, because a lot of my stuff is specifically through my own point of view and this one started to take a turn.

i found the score for poldark (v good show, 100% recommend) on spotify and i'm vibing. might fuck around and write a non-personal poetry piece.

i combined a few things i already had with an idea i had today while thinking about my future plans. as such, it could be a bit disjointed. as always, let me know what you think! :)

wonder woman complex

May 25, 2020

FREE WRITING

17
 if i was a braver person i’d shave my head and wear stark lipstick;
i’d dress in black and white and name myself queen of contradictions;
i’d talk back and run away and fill my body with metal and ink. no one would hurt me because they would be too afraid, so very afraid,
and i’d hold their fear tight, good, squish it like grapes in my hand; let it ooze from my fingers and decorate the pavement.
and then people wouldn’t tell me but he’s such a nice boy
a nice nice boy and don’t you just love the way
he held your hand and called you comrade,
comrade because we both loved history and it sounds
so similar to your name and isn’t that just delightful?
no, no, because  a white german boy can only talk about world war two for so long. a white german boy can only name guns and bullets for you until his words take on another meaning.
just like icarus could only fly so high before he too yearned
to feel the breath of earth once more.
but if i was a braver person, no one would tell me about guns or wars, no boy would dare trust the toxic shell of a woman that i could be.
good.
and if i was a braver person, people wouldn’t tuck me away with their old winter clothes; they wouldn’t ignore me like forgotten mugs left to rot on nightstands.
i would be visible, i would be loud. they would have no choice but to see me, and if i wanted to speak, they’d have to listen.
i wouldn’t be another background character amongst my own friends, i’d be the tallest flower of the bunch and every gardener would want to uproot me, keep me in their vases until my petals sulked;
but my thorns, oh my thorns would make them bleed. tall flowers aren’t meant to be picked.
and just how would that feel for you, to watch me soak up the sun and know that your time is finite, because i finally outperformed you, i’m too dangerous to be touched and they give me peace because of it.
good.
and in another life I must’ve been a better person because the cries of mothers and warriors still echo through my blood,
but their sweat and love is wasted on a woman who spends far too much time pondering existence and not enough time experiencing it.
because it’s never that i would, only that i could; action is unnecessary.
but it’s time to come clean with myself and realize i will never be wonder woman.
 

Print

See History
1

Login or Signup to provide a comment.

8 Comments
  • crow_e

    hi! just letting you know i submitted a review on this piece!


    about 2 months ago
  • van gogh's girl

    Whoa. this is gorgeous. i felt this


    about 2 months ago
  • sunny.v

    “ but my thorns, oh my thorns would make them bleed. tall flowers aren’t meant to be picked. ” this piece is so, so powerful. every part of it flows nicely together, which is tricky to do for a piece that seems like a nicely laid out thought process. this is amazing


    about 2 months ago
  • hi i'm jackson ;)

    This is an amazing piece! It’s really brave of you to put this out there, and I love the way you described your emotions so violently. “Squish it like grapes in my hand”
    And the way you described the boy as sort of being the heights to your Icarus....super cool. I love this!!! Keep writing!!!!


    about 2 months ago
  • N.

    thank you! :)


    about 2 months ago
  • CrazyNinjaKid

    This is awesome writing like just woww


    about 2 months ago
  • AbbyMayHampsen

    It takes a lot of bravery to portray a feeling of hopelessness in your piece while remaining hopeful in real life, but this piece doesn't hesitate. It draws you right in.


    about 2 months ago
  • poetri

    Alrighty guys, she's done it again.
    No seriously the amount of incredible pieces you have blows my mind and I love this one so much...too relatable honestly. Thank you for writing and like existing and stuff :)


    about 2 months ago