muirann

United States

the break and breathing of a postmodern sappho

Message from Writer

Due to recent, very upsetting actions by the WtW team (and their ignoring of any criticism of the site), I've decided to leave the community. I wish I could tell you where to find me on Twitter and Prose, but the very reason I am rewriting this is because my previous message was deleted for having the audacity to share where you can contact me. I wish you all the best.

(PHOTOGRAPHY IN PROFILE PICTURE ISN'T MINE)

9 Reasons I Cannot Sleep

May 23, 2020

PROMPT: Enumeration

10
1. No matter who I am and what I do, someone will always hate me. I'm an atheist and into girls and someone will always prejudiced against me and my own life.

2. I don't know how hate works. People and their reactions are a compilation of their experiences. Prejudice is taught and cognitive dissonance plagues. Maybe ignorance is bliss after all and I'm just unhappy. 

3. In order for someone to be wholly good or wholly bad, a set moral code has to exist to pronounce them as such. Not everyone shares the same moral code. 

4. Believing in something unconditionally is what leads to cognitive dissonance. Being so emotionally attached to your opinions will only hurt you. Why can't I care less?

5. The anti-intellectualism is our societal collective conscience produces an invisible hand effect. I curse it, but would I be here if it was gone? 

6. (In response to the Theseus' Ship metaphor) I don't want to have to be a boat when I've lived my life. I don't want to have such an internalized negative reaction to things, including myself, against the social norm. I wish I could re-route my brain. 

7. I think I'm a narcissist. Had I gone to therapy more than once when I was 11 to get an anxiety disorder diagnosis, I would probably know.   

8. I want books written about me when I'm dead. What they will say yet is unknown even to my greatest wishes.

9. Hey! HEy! Remember that time in third grade when you called your teacher 'mom.' Loser. 

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  • May 23, 2020 - 8:52pm (Now Viewing)

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2 Comments
  • Jasmine khawar

    I can relate to 8th one...I always think about my future and I'm always filled with negativity, that's why I can't sleep sometimes:P


    6 months ago
  • Doodleninja

    that last one though, I can relate to random memories and regrets popping into my mind for no reason and then I lie awake for another two hours cursing my stupid self.
    This strikes deep; I love the honesty. And very interesting thoughts. I hope you can get some good night's sleep!! :)


    6 months ago