sunny.v

United States

15. she/her. asian. infj. joined april 27, 2020!

sword wielding protector of all minority groups! professional terror gremlin upon this world

Message to Readers

this is my first time writing a villanelle! if anyone’s experienced at writing them and has tips for me, please feel free to point out my mistakes/give me criticisms!

what clears us of this deed?

May 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

7
A little water clears us of this deed
Blood is but a speck of the night, gone with the embrace of day
Begone, your cowardice, and let your ambitions be freed

Guilt-ridden night terrors, away, away, I plead
Your most compelling fires shan’t convince this sinner to pray
A little water clears us of this deed

Those of sanguine royalty accompanied by iron will are a dying breed
Cast away your doubts, become the apex predator, ‘stead the prey
Begone, your cowardice, and let your ambitions be freed

I refuse to regret planting the forbidden fruit’s seed
Not when, despite my sleep’s tortures, it shall produce a most sweet bouquet
A little water clears us of this deed

The memory of their corpses—they trouble me, I concede
But if their lives were worth more than an infant’s, for our glory, who’s to say?
Begone, your cowardice, and let your ambitions be freed

My dearest, a clear conscience is what no ruler shall need
Not when he commands lands from far away
A little water clears us of this deed
Begone, your cowardice, and let your ambitions be freed
-this is in a villanelle structure! it was pretty difficult, but the thrill is in the chase, i suppose
-yes, this is for lady macbeth! man, do i love femme fatale characters. *wolf whistles* lady macbeth, what a woman, am i right?
 

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  • May 22, 2020 - 10:36pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • Quarkoala

    Very good job writing in the voice of Lady Macbeth. This brought back memories of reading the play (it was the first Shakespeare play I'd ever read), and reading Lady Macbeth's lines. The one thing I have to suggest is to make this poem in the form of complete sentences, with the beginning of each sentence capitalized.
    So like:

    A little water clears us of this deed;
    blood is but a speck of the night, gone with the embrace of day.
    Begone, your cowardice, and let your ambitions be freed!

    Guilt-ridden night terrors, away, away, I plead!
    Your most compelling fires shan’t convince this sinner to pray;
    A little water clears us of this deed.

    Something like that.


    4 days ago
  • Emi

    I thought at the beginning that this was Lady Macbeth; I'm so glad I was right! I love the classy/medieval feel of this piece; you really have a knack for rhyme and rhythm. I would totally read more of traditional poetry like this if you wrote others!


    8 days ago
  • ava09

    Yessss I saw the beginning and was like Lady Macbeth...? But yeah she's a woman indeed there's really no words for her. Also I'd never heard of the villanelle structure before although the rhythm of the piece was familiar when I read it and now I know why. "Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight" is in that structure lol (yes I googled really quick. Also I love that poem sooooo much it just hits different you know?) Anywayyy I really enjoyed reading this. :)


    8 days ago
  • chrysanthemums&ink

    this was very interesting to read! i'll have to read up more on villanelles though. gorgeous.


    8 days ago