Peer Review by Zen m (United States)

Below, you'll see any text that was highlighted with comments from the reviewer.

Tap on comment to view. Using a mouse?

Hover over comments to view. On a touch device?


a athair

By: CrazyNinjaKid


FREE WRITING


ruptures my fragile soul,
rhythmic peace distorted, 
shallow breathless gasps,
dread filled introspection's awakened, 
wildly roams previewing visions,  
echos repeating, over and over, 
mind whirling, intimate voices,
violent nightmares, triggered painstakingly,
harshly crush the heart-wrenching memories, 
afraid, traumatised, painfully alone, 
floating like a child's sail boat,
drowning in a lost sea of confusion.

acceptation of the final stand
heart pounding, pound after pound
shattering fiercely, glass of a million pieces,
risks unleashed, jeopardised, threatening self,
following heart, ignoring mind,
defying weakness, disregarding soul,
be a saviour, a want to be warrior,
all for this one person,
for the loyalty wouldn't be returned.

 

First Published: 22/05/2020
Word Count: 103

Message to Readers

Who speaks Irish here??


Peer Review

The fragile anxiety you present is very truthful.


is this like having a bad dream?


Reviewer Comments

really enjoying the dark and disgruntled tone of this poem.