Doodleninja

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pfp is Thinker & Prose from my series "Stereo Tropes Co."!

Christian
INFx-T

Full-time doodler
Comic artist
Hardcore Introvert
social anxiety gang
Mexipina
Obsessed with music
Homeschool squad, yeah!

Soli Deo Gloria!

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Stereo Tropes Co.! An ongoing series where story tropes run amuck.
Search "Stereo Tropes Co." to find more pieces
If you want to read them in order, follow the numbers in the titles :)
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"You write so beautifully. Your mind must be a terrible place."
Always on the lookout for tragic backstories and broken characters. :D
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There's a Coworker in My Office and He's Laughing like a Maniac | Stereo Tropes Co. (3)

July 22, 2020

FREE WRITING

24

The phone wasn't ringing.
And Thinker was in absolute bliss.
He spun around in his favorite leather swivel chair because there was nothing to do--
"Excuse me? Thinker?"
Said employee froze as his chair completed its final turn, leaving him to face the intruder.
"Haven't you heard of knocking!" Thinker sat up straighter, desperate to hold onto any dignity he had left after someone had witnessed him frolicking in his turntable seat. 
"You don't knock on our doors when you barge into our offices," the newcomer deadpanned. Thinker finally recognized him as one of the other customer service workers, the one who wore plaid and sang to himself in the bathroom. "Print" was his name. 
Thinker huffed. "What is it?"
"There's this rookie in Production, she needs some assistance and the boss wants you to help her out."
"Me?"
Print rolled his eyes. "It would be an honor if you could grace her with your bountiful knowledge since you have plentiful experience working here."
Thinker put a finger to his mouth and cocked his head. "Well, I suppose I could..."
Print turned to walk away. "Her office is on the fourth floor, Room 3A."
Thinker sighed.
"Goodbye chair," he sighed, picked up his wine glass, and decided to make a quick stop at the lounge room before gracing the rookie with his bountiful knowledge.

---

"Thinker is here!" the man sang his name as he barged into the office without knocking. 
He took a dramatic bow in front of the lady sitting at her desk, surrounded by piles of manuscripts, a laptop, and a few photos as well. 
"Ah," the rookie said, seemingly unfazed by his grand entrance. "Hello. I'm Prose."
"And with what can I help you today, sweetheart?" Thinker put a hand on the table (it was hard to find a spot among all the paper) and leaned towards her, flashing his best smile. ​The best smile, actually.
Prose made a face. "Don't call me 'sweetheart'."
"Shall I call you 'bitter-brain' then?"
"Um...let's go with no," she shifted her gaze back to her laptop. "They told me I'm supposed to be  working on a new line of Villainous Monologues, but I'm not sure where to start. As you can see," she gestured to the copious collection of scripts, "I've typed up a few drafts and ideas, but they lack inspiration."
"Stick with the classics," Thinker moved away from the desk. "Take it from a guy in customer service and HR management: when things go awry, people don't like it. We're Stereo Tropes Co. Just give 'em same old, same old."
"How can we ever progress in the creative industry if all we ever do is repeat ourselves!?" Prose immediately fired back.
Thinker raised his hands. "Whoa. If you want to start a revolution against Corporate, go ahead. I'm just here to give some advice."
"Okay," Prose sighed and scrolled through the draft on her computer. "How about this? 'Give up now, Hero, you're going to lose! I will now commence my plan before you can break free, or one of your friends can save you. Aight, Imma head out' and then insert maniacal laugh."
She looked up at him.
Thinker stared at her. "Don't tell me that's it."
Prose frowned. "What!? But that's what would make the most sense! If I were a villain, that's what I'd say!"
Thinker shook his head and smiled at the cute innocence on her upset face. "Prosie, Prosie, Prosie, Villainous Monologues are the opposite of practicality. They're supposed to be dramatic, flamboyant, you must let the villain shine! Where was the flair in that, huh? Where is the PASSION? It should start something like this."
He demonstrated with accompanying theatrical hand motions. "'AH! So we meet again! BEHOLD, o pathetic, weakling mortal of a Hero. Your DOOM awaits you in these next few seconds of your short life! AHAHAHA! Did you REALLY think you could defeat ME, someone so much smarter, so much stronger, so much beautiful-er than you?'"
"Beautiful-er isn't a word," Prose interjected.
"AH!" Thinker whirled towards her with an outstretched, admonishing finger. "No interruptions from your sad little mouth! Although soon, you won't be able to talk at all! Why, you ask? Well I'll let you in on a little secret just between you and me: because I will DESTROY THE WORLD! AHAHAHA! But why am I destroying the world you ask?'"
"I'm not asking any of this--"
"SILENCE! Of course you want to know how I managed to pull this scheme off! How else would my masterplan be exposed! This genius can't be contained! Once I announce my brilliant plan I'll get a bunch of new followers on VillainBook! Everyone will be blown away...literally!"
"But...then, there'd be no VillainBook--"
"YES! At last I shall have my revenge! For it was fifteen years ago that it happened...the event that changed my life."
"Uh, where is this sad piano music coming from?" 
"I was but a young boy, an orphan wandering the streets. Life had taken all that it could from me, but I still held on to the one thing I held most dear...my teddy bear."
"Are...are you crying?"
"I thought I'd never lose him, no, not my bear. But then...YOU."
"Me?"
"It was YOU who stole my teddy bear all those years ago! And while I can't take a teddy bear from you, I can take your LIFE."
"Dude, that's just creepy! And who would even do that, much less, remember that?!"
"YOU DARE FEIGN INNOCENCE! DON'T MAKE ME DESTROY YOU."
"But you're literally planning to destroy the FLIPPIN' WORLD--"
"We could rule the universe together!"
"What the heck?!"
"Remember your pet dog when you were little? Would you like to know how he DIED?"
"Um..."
"We're not so different you and I."
"I beg to differ."
"The war has just begun!"
"What war?"
"Look! I even made a picture book to tell the story of how the world will end. I really love page 5, I think my rendition of the Grand Canyon exploding is exquisite--OH NO!"
Prose jumped in her seat. "Wha?!"
"You've finally broken free! And all your friends are here!" Thinker put a hand to his forehead like he was about to faint. "Woe is me! Cue dramatic battle scene! Magic of Friendship! Wham! Kapow! And..." he collapsed in the loveseat next to the door. "Death."
Prose pinched her cheek to make sure she wasn't dreaming.
Thinker popped to his feet, clasping his hands. "How about that for inspiration?"
"That..." Prose searched for the right wording. "...was very...enlightening. Thank you so much, Thinker!"
She flashed a strained smile. 
Thinker took a bow. "Anytime."
He opened the door and gave her a farewell salute, displaying a grin. "So long, bitter-brain."
The door slammed shut behind him.
Prose turned her attention back to her laptop. 
And couldn't help but release a few giggles, despite herself. 
"He's pretty hilarious, that Thinker. Ridiculous but...hilarious."






 
This was a bit length-y, but you know, villainous monologues are all about that XD
TV Tropes was my friend while writing this. 

If you haven't already, check out my other pieces pertaining to Stereo Tropes Co.:

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  • July 22, 2020 - 10:21pm (Now Viewing)

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12 Comments
  • mirkat

    yesyesyes! this just keeps getting better and better and better and i neeeeed part 4! i love the whole villain monologue-- total cliche and oh so funny! <3


    26 days ago
  • Stone of Jade

    okay i love this one i think the best. The dynamic between thinker and prose is so perfect and i love it so much! I can't believe i haven't read these ones before


    29 days ago
  • ANSON REYNOLDS

    im dead
    thats the best thing ive ever freaking read
    *wiping away tears and im legit not kidding it actually made me laugh so hard i cried*


    about 2 months ago
  • anemoia & lattes (#dreams of autumn)

    tears of joy x 100


    about 2 months ago
  • Writing4Life

    I love it so muchhhhhhhhh


    4 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    I love Prose’s replies to his monologue XD! “Are...are you crying?” “Uh, where is that sad piano music coming from?” I’m literally like, breathy laughing right nowXD


    4 months ago
  • RemovedUser1

    Hi. Uh, so I was wondering if you could maybe link all the Stereo Tropes in order, because I’ve been trying to read them and I’m kinda confused XD. But, the one’s I’ve read are really good.


    4 months ago
  • kealoha

    Replying: Thank you for the kind words! Glad you caught the reference :) lol


    4 months ago
  • Starcatcher

    lol this is AMZING. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah


    4 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    You. Are. A. GENIUS.


    5 months ago
  • Currently Unavailable

    Come check out my piece about all my followers and how awesome they are!!! :)


    6 months ago
  • sunny.v

    this is absolutely hilarious. man, are tropes complicated! sometimes they’re sooo overdone and sometimes they’re done so so right. really really funny!!


    6 months ago