rainydayz

United States

15
she/her
sagittarius
i just like writing :0
joined: 5/15/20

Message to Readers

I'd love tips on word choice !!!!!! I know mine is not super strong lol.

An Unexpected Feeling

May 19, 2020

FREE WRITING

9
it's the breeze.
the one
    that whirs circles around my spine,
the one
    that jolts each inch of my back ever so slightly,
the one
    that returns to me among the unforeseen hour.

you come and go,
just as I forget you,
you wave hello.
but only when my thoughts consume me.
a minor sign. 
a pat on the shoulder.
a nod.
"do not worry"


could I be foolish?
could my youthful conscience cause such illusion?
my network of confusion on overdrive,
suddenly shuts down.
i feel your chilling touch.
i am content.


 

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5 Comments
  • sunny.v

    replying: no problem! i’ll get to this as soon as I can!


    5 months ago
  • rainydayz

    Thank you for all the sweet comments it really made my day :)


    6 months ago
  • joella

    I agree with the previous comments; this is lovely! welcome to wtw :)


    6 months ago
  • Charisse Marison

    This has such a nice flow to it and it's amazing. And the word choice is fine! I think that the simplicity of the words you use actually really add to it! Awesome job <3


    6 months ago
  • sunny.v

    “ could my youthful conscience cause such illusion? / my network of confusion on overdrive” i love these lines! nice piece, i actually think your word choice is good for the most part!


    6 months ago