efflorescence

United States

16 | INFJ | ♀️| massachusetts

[ summer + fall 2019 ] peer ambassador

just a melancholy, existential girl with a penchant for poetry, fairy tales, and magical realism.

Message to Readers

i don't really like this piece but i'm still trying to experiment with repetition and rhythm more, and practice doesn't need to be perfect! or at least that's what i'm telling myself

sleepless sorrows

May 19, 2020

FREE WRITING

18
the crow the crow
he alights on my windowsill, an apparition
dressed in midnight he caws he caws
little girl little girl
why are you still awake?
and i don’t know how to explain
that the earth spins pins and never stops
but what if it does? and what if the sun dies
and what if the moon falls
and what if this happens while i am asleep
so i don’t sleep
because insomnia insomnia is a fate far better than death.

the crow the crow
he guards me from my swingset, a savior
draped in moonlight he smirks he smirks
little girl little girl
what do you love?
and i don’t know how to explain
that i love the sun dancing on thunder-thick clouds
the rain singsonging on the charcoal pavement
and the flowers chorusing from their earthen beds
and i’m afraid to miss this natural paramour
so i don’t sleep
because insomnia insomnia is a fate far better than lovesickness.

the crow the crow
he perches on the kitchen table, a companion
wreathed in cereal and cinnamon-crumbed milk he wonders he wonders
little girl little girl
who do you love?
and i don’t know how to explain
that i love my grandmother’s gnarled hands
my father’s skinny calves
and my brothers’ split-smile jokes
and i’m afraid that one day they’ll disappear
so i don’t sleep
because insomnia insomnia is a fate far better than loneliness.

so i ask the crow the crow
i love you
do you love me?
and he doesn’t explain
that a bird cannot love a girl cannot love a bird
and he flies far away away
and the crow the crow never returns 
so i don’t sleep
because insomnia insomnia is a fate far worse than fantasy.
 

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  • May 19, 2020 - 4:34pm (Now Viewing)

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4 Comments
  • Madelyn (Carolina Girl)

    I loved this. I very much enjoyed the rhythm of this piece. If you have time please check out my new series soulmates and angels :)


    5 months ago
  • mia_:)

    Whoa! I love the repetition and your sensory details!


    5 months ago
  • sunny.v

    "but what if it does? and what if the sun dies / and what if the moon falls"
    that is phone wallpaper worthy. so, so gorgeous. i love the parallelism between the crow and the girl, and the insomnia insomnia. this is indescribably ominous but also just a bit of familiar sadness? gorgeous. it's true that we all post pieces we're not proud of sometimes, and practice isn't always perfect, but i'd say that this is something to be proud of! very, very proud of!!


    5 months ago
  • Anne Blackwood

    I am getting The Raven vibes and also just your awesome self vibes and living for it


    5 months ago