Peer Review by chrysanthemums&ink (United States)

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of crowns and wings and horns

By: sunny.v


FREE WRITING

i want to tear them off

horns sprouting from my skull, twisting like charred ivory branches, look at me now
or don’t—don’t, actually, i’ve done my fair share of sneering at my reflection, teeth bared, eyes bloodshot and wild

i’m a monster; i want to tear them off
want to growl any miracle word, abracadabra, anything to stop this visceral loneliness

but you’re my one in a million, and i don’t understand
you stand before me like my salvation, and
i want to believe that you are, but it’s just been so long
your eyes trace over the horns on my head, and mine snag on the wings on your back

why don’t you walk like me, head held low, like they’re a burden?

you tell me you like my crown
i respond that we’re the only ones that might think that
and wings fanning out, chrysanthemum petals falling from the tufts, you reason: that’s what makes us destined

you found me, despite it all, and maybe
the horned girl, with the winged girl
who placed a crown on my head
have found a home already

-inspired by the boy group TXT's song crown 
-this is dedicated to my winged girl, chrys!! also i imagine my horns would look like deer antlers, because i, like a deer, also run at top speeds from loud humans

Message to Readers

this is such a meh piece and i'm hoping it gets swept away but!! for miss chrysanthemums&tea, 'tis for you!!


Peer Review

THIS WAS FOR ME??? This beautiful piece of work??? I- I was honestly speechless for a minute or two, i almost cried. I was not expecting the beautiful imagery on top of the lyrics of CROWN. The song was beautifully woven in with your golden words.


I think sometimes the stanza transitions are a bit awkward in the beginning are a bit awkward, but it's totally understandable. Maybe you could add a little more about how the narrator stopped thinking of their horns as 'horns' and more as a 'crown'? Maybe their a little more on their thought process as it changes, like a little extra between the 6th and 7th stanzas? Otherwise, (nitpicks btw, as that's all I'm able to make with your beautiful writing), this is so beautiful and *tears up a little bit*.


Reviewer Comments

back when you thought my name was chrysanthemums&tea lol. I think my jaw dropped when i saw this in your profile, was not expecting this TT. Haha I'm glad I at least tried to return the favor, although I doubt my piece could trump this masterpiece. Beautiful work, and if you have anything to say about any of the points I've made, feel free to message me about it!