United States

pfp: album art for "castaways & cutouts"
infp- 4w6- they/them

black lives matter & pride is over but the fight for lgbt+ rights is year round.

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Message from Writer

"Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first, and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us, we can cope with that. We can do this together you and I." - Welcome to Night Vale

lowercase is intentional.

i like:
- fiction podcasts (welcome to night vale, wolf 359, the magnus archives)
- indie/alternative music (always open to recs!)
- comedy & mystery shows
- existential poetry (mary oliver, richard siken, anne carson, ocean vuong)

an important piece by outoftheblue- https://bit.ly/3dBxv5r

everyone should read the article "i know what you think of me" by tim kreider

ask the writer- answers!

May 30, 2020


from SunV:
1) which writers do you admire on WtW?
oh boy this is going to be hard. there are so many utterly fantastic writers on here. the first three that would come to mind, i'd say, are agustdv, Oscar_Locke, and ghostlyglory, but basically every writer that gets featured on anha's monthly highlights (and anha herself) are bound to be really good. 

2)Favourite song lyrics.
    i think some of my favorite bands with deeper or more well-written lyrics are the decemberists, death cab for cutie, folie-a-deux-era fall out boy, and sufjan stevens. hozier has a lot of really good lyrics as well, as does mitski. as for individual songs:
    "the suburbs" by arcade fire
    "bixby canyon bridge" by death cab for cutie
    "nine" by la dispute
    "don't look back (in anger)" by oasis
    "a burning hill" by mitski 
    "karma police" by radiohead
    "once in a lifetime" by the talking heads
    "shake it out" by florence + the machine

3) Favourite Harry Potter characters.
    luna lovegood and remus lupin.

4) Your Hobby, other than writing.
    reading and drawing and playing guitar are my main three besides writing. i've especially been drawing a lot more since i've been listening to more podcasts lately, and because the visual part of my brain and the word-processing part of my brain function separately, drawing is one of the few things i can do while paying attention to a podcast. 

5) favourite movie.
i'm not sure i have one, i'm more of a tv show person to be honest. i like wes anderson's movies, and i saw "knives out" in theaters and really enjoyed it. even though i'm not a huge fan of superhero movies overall, i loved "spider-man: into the spider-verse", and i watched the 2005 version of "pride and prejudice" a few months back and i really liked that as well.

6) dream house.
i did this q&a a little out of order so i think i talk about my dream house a little later on, but i'll go more in-depth here. i'd like it to have a garden out front, maybe a porch with a porch swing, and a rock path in the center leading up to the door. inside, it'd be filled with artwork, books stacked everywhere, more plants, a few pets as well. the couches would be really comfortable and there would be a ton of fluffy blankets everywhere since i get cold really easily. there would also be a music room with lots of guitars and various instruments in it. the back of the house would have a screen porch and another garden, this one bigger with more actual food in it, maybe even a small pond. this question led me to search pinterest for inspiration and i learned the term "maximalist", and i think that perfectly described what i like in home decor; i honestly don't get the obsession with minimalism. 

7) what is your go-to snack and why?
saltines or pretzels. i crave salt. 

8) what languages do you speak?
english is the only language i'm fluent in, but i've been learning spanish using duolingo, podcasts, youtube, and various other internet resources for about 3/4s of a year now? i still have a long way to go, but i've been able to stick to it so far, so hopefully i can continue to improve. 

9)If you could be a fictional character, who would you be and why?
    i feel like things always work out for characters in comedy shows such as parks & rec and brooklyn nine-nine; they always get a big cast of close friends, a good mix of fun, exciting memories and deeper, emotional ones, and by the end of the show they've had a lot of character development and are almost always living their dream lives, so i'd want to be a character in one of those types of shows.

10) do you believe in superstitions?
    yes and no? i don't believe in classic superstitions like breaking a mirror or black cats mean bad luck and all those things, but to be honest i do have a few of my own beliefs about luck or superstitions. it's like i recognize that they're not realistic or scientific but at the same time my brain can't fully accept that.
11) what is you worst fear?
honestly i'm not totally sure since i have a lot of major fears. i think one of the biggest ones is losing control of my grasp on reality or reality being untrue, although having something disastrous happen is another one that pops up a lot for me. also, anything human-like that's not human. i have no problem with dolls that are clearly toys, but barbies and specifically the hair of barbies for some reason is so genuinely disturbing to me. humanoid robots and puppets that are made to look realistic also freak me out. i watched a show on amazon recently that's sort of like the twilight zone since the episodes are individual stories that aren't connected, and in one episode a human and robot switched bodies, so the robot had the body of the human but was acting like that robot. i almost left the room i was so creeped out by that. 
    also: spiders, space, isolation, robots in general, heights and specifically vertigo, being watched or spied on, the woods at night, being trapped, mirrors, and doppelgangers. 

12) do you play an instrument? If yes, which one(s)
i do! i play flute, guitar, some piano, and i'm learning mandolin. 

from r|A|i|N:
popular book you dislike?
    the first two that instantly came to mind are the Divergent series by Veronica Roth and the Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare, the latter especially since I haven't been able to make it through more than about 50 pages, and i tried reading it twice. however, i'm aware that while those books are pretty popular, disliking them isn't really an unpopular opinion, so i'm going to try to dig deeper.
    adam silvera's "they both die at the end" was one that i thought i would enjoy a lot more than i actually did. he's not a bad writer, the book just didn't do it for me for some reason. david levithan's "every day" was another one i heard good things about, but honestly i just found it tiring to read. also, "miss peregrine's home for peculiar children." i haven't read much ernest hemingway, but just based off what i have read of him i really don't understand why he's considered a classic writer. most of his short stories i come out of feeling like i just wasted a lot of time for no reason.
    "the goldfinch" by donna tartt is one that i can't say i disliked, necessarily, and i do understand why it's so popular, but it's practically 800 pages, and it really, really did not have to be that long. there are pages upon pages upon pages of descriptions of antique furniture and how to make furniture that add nothing to the plot, and it sort of feels unedited, if that makes sense. not that there are grammatical mistakes, but i find it difficult to believe that any editor would have read all those very unnecessary parts and not cut them out.
    no hate to anyone that likes these books or whose opinion differs from mine, these really are just my opinions and whatever people want to enjoy is totally fine by me!

top five favorite songs ever?
this is so hard because no matter what songs you pick you're inevitably going to leave out about twenty, and all of my favorite songs i like mostly for different reasons, so it's difficult to compare them. so these songs might not be my perfectly accurate top five of all time, but they definitely have solid positions in my top ten at least. in no particular order:
    "sprawl ii (mountains beyond mountains)" by arcade fire
    "disloyal order of water buffalo" by fall out boy
    "karma police" by radiohead
    "dog days are over" by florence + the machine
    "cigarette daydreams" by cage the elephant

weirdest food you've ever eaten?
bacon-and-cheese-flavored crickets. yes, these are a real thing, somehow. 

write me a timeline of your ideal life.
i have this weird but ever-present longing to live and work in the lighthouse of a small and mysterious town with a big dog, and i've written pages upon pages of aesthetic prose about the concept. one day i'll probably attempt to write an actual short story starring a lighthouse keeper, and maybe that will finally rid me of the desire. there's just something about it, the gray skies, the constant threat of a storm on the horizon, the slippery rocks, the isolation, the seagulls flying overhead, foggy early mornings, the strange things that you see out on the sea and the strange things that wash up on shore. 
    to be slightly more realistic, i'd say that ideally, i'd be in some indie band, not the lead singer but, like, the second guitarist or something. it would combine two of my favorite things, music and writing, as well as getting to travel on tours, but without the excessive fame. honestly, any job in the arts would be really great. i'd have a dog and a house that's cluttered but in a way that's cozy and inviting, you know? a garden out front, lots of plants in the house, books everywhere, art prints on the walls, lots of blankets and comfortable couches, and also either a back porch or a front porch, especially one that's screened-in.

from sunny.v:
is there a particular writing style that you're fond of?
  i'm not sure how to describe it, exactly, but i really love poetry and prose that's blunt and not very flowery, but still uses language in a purposeful, unconventional way that makes me want to read it a thousand times over. for example, richard siken's poetry, or markus zusak's works. it's straightforward and yet innovative, if that makes sense. 

what do you wish you'd see more pieces about?
    both on this website and just in general, i feel like there's a lot of poetry about relationships and poetry that references greek mythology. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that i dislike those types of poetry, since a lot of my favorite poems of all time fall into those categories, and there are still pieces to be written about these things that are incredible and tackle them in new ways, but i would like to read more poetry about less-written about topics, like friendship, aging, loneliness, maybe even more nature-centered poems. one poem that i've always loved, "two-headed calf" by laura giplin, is incredibly memorable to me because it's writing about something that i honestly think i've never read anyone else write about before, and it's so specific that it leaves an imprint. i think that poems that have big, important themes or topics but use specific situations to convey them are always really memorable and i'd love to see more of them. 
    also, poetic horror. it doesn't even have to be poetry, necessarily, but i love when writers use beautiful language to describe something grotesque or monstrous. 
    also, this just occurred to me, poems that use angels, demons, or christian imagery in general in regards to a relationship is something that i've read a lot of, and i feel like there could be so many more metaphors we could use to describe relationships if we tried to branch out. 

from Dmoral13:
what are some writers/authors you admire (that aren't on WTW)?
    some of my favorite poets are mary oliver, richard siken, anne carson, louise gluck, and pablo neruda. off the top of my head, i can't think of a lot of particular novelists that i enjoy, except markus zusak (author of The Book Thief) and benjamin alire saenz (author of Aristotle & Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe and Last Night I Sang to the Monster). i also like agatha christie. there's a ton more than i can't think of right now, i'm sure, but that's all the first things that came to mind. 

if you had a warning label, what would it say?
    probably that if you ask me about something that interests me then i can and will talk for hours on end, aka this whole q&a. 

do you have any stuffed animals?
yes, a lot, although i only have a few that i've actually named.

favorite thing to do outside?
just being outside and getting sunlight is nice. that is, as long as it's not incredibly hot with bugs everywhere. oh, and swimming, especially if it's in an actual creek or pond or lake. i'd like to take walks alone in nature and just be alone in the woods in general but sadly i am way too paranoid to do that most of the time. 

favorite thing to do inside?
everything? probably writing, though, since i don't think i could write outside honestly, i'd get way too distracted. 

currently reading any books? is so, what is it? do you like it?
    i'm currently reading "the secret history" by donna tartt, same author of "the goldfinch". so far this one is a lot more fast-paced and a little more morally dubious than "the goldfinch." at first i thought it was a bit pretentious, but it grew on me, and i'm really enjoying it so far. 

where do you see yourself in 5 years?
    honestly i don't think nearly that far ahead most of the time, and when you predict your future it's not usually very accurate. although a few years ago i would wonder where i was going to be now, and looking around, my past self's predictions are... suspiciously correct...

name something you love that's underrated?
ooh this is a good one. i'd say the band hippo campus, pretty much all fiction podcasts but especially "the magnus archives" and "alice isn't dead", and the band bright eyes (i'm not sure if they're actually underrated but i feel like i haven't heard as many people talking about them than other bands similar to them so i'm going to include them anyway). 

from anha:
what do you want people to say about you most?
    that i'm a nice person and that they enjoy being around me, honestly, although compliments of any sort are greatly valued. 

there is a holy sword hanging on your wall that you found on the street last week. describe it.
it's very old but well-taken-care-of, curved and silver, and the handle is carved into a serpent opening its jaws so that the sword appears to be coming from its mouth. it's smaller than i would expect a sword to be. 

there is something following you on your way home from the bus stop. five steps from your front door, you turn around and face it. what does it look like?
when i turn around there is nothing there. i don't mean nothing in the sense that no one is there , but rather in the sense that there is a person made of void standing in front of me, their face anonymous and indescribable as though scribbled over with a black pencil. 

if you were able to remember everything in a book if you ate its pages, would you do it? if so, which book would you consume?
i'm not sure if i would eat books that i actually love and enjoy. i think part of the joy of re-reading comes from discovering again what you've forgotten, and i think that remembering all of it would take some of that joy away, make it worn-out, if that makes sense. however, i would absolutely eat the pages of non-fiction books such as textbooks and guides. 

why do we do these things? (this question is meant to be ambiguous. do not try to discern what it means.)
because we're afraid that we're alone, that everything is forgotten, that all of this is for waste, and because we're equally afraid of the opposite. 

you are dreaming and there is a door in front of you. what do you want to find behind it? what do you expect to find? what do you fear is behind it?
    i want to find something bigger and brighter than all of this. i expect to find a hallway with no doors that ends at a blank wall. i fear that there is someone else behind it, and that they will recognize me. 

you are a world-renowned author. what is your pseudonym?
i'm pretty bad at coming up with realistic-sounding fake names so it'd have to be something very similar to my actual name but with a slight variation or twist, or my initials combined with my last name. 

if one of your stories were to become a screenplay, which would you choose? who would you have direct your film?
    probably the story that i'm currently writing, which i'm actually considering writing in a podcast format or a screenplay format. although i'm more of the person that reads someone else's book and then thinks about how i could turn it into a movie or tv show adaption. like, ok, i know that screen adaptions are rarely as good as the book or surpass the book, but there are some things where i read them and in my head i just know what the soundtrack choices would be, what the lighting and cinematography would be like, where it would be broken into episodes if it were a tv show. i also have ideas for how things could be adapted into musicals, even though i don't really listen to musicals anyway. 

every so often, you hear whispers only you can hear. do you listen to them? what do they say? would you be surprised if you found someone else who could hear the whispers and discovered where they came from?
i listen to them as closely as i can although i try to pass them off as dreams or hearing things. they whisper my own forgotten memories and dreams back to me. if someone else could hear them, i would be shocked and a little horrified. 

a quote is attributed to you for the ages. what is it?
something that i did actually say, but without the context that offers explanation. 

every month, you go to the market and buy a witch's wares. what do you buy, and how much do they cost? why are you buying them, and does your family approve?
    i'm not sure what a witch's wares are; google says that it's pottery, so i'm going to assume that's right. i buy vases and bowls with scenes from ancient mythology on them, and they cost enough that my family raises their eyebrows. however, i always feel that it was worth it.

what character trope do you think you embody?
    this isn't a character trope so much as a writing trope, but you know how in comedy shows, the characters are often put into situations where they have a conversation or hear bits of other people's conversations and it causes wild misunderstandings and miscommunications? that would be me.  

by order of the king from a far away land, you are being put to death. why?
    a crime that i committed long ago in my past that i thought i had gotten away with has resurfaced. no one, including me, can remember exactly what it is, and it changes depending on who you ask, but they're certain that i did it.

you are descended from a god. how does your lineage present itself?
    in small ways. some things would come more naturally to me, not enough for people to take genuine notice, but enough to elicit some surprise.

there is a rapping at the door, but when you look through the window, no one is there. do you open the door?
    i would first try to look under or through the peephole of the door, and if i still saw no one, i might after some time become curious enough to open it; however, that's only if the rapping was persistent. if it stopped, i would pretend i hadn't heard anything.

under what circumstances would you become a villain? revenge? protecting those you love? anger at a failing system?
    any of these would be sufficient enough for me to commit a few moral wrongs, but i don't think i would become a full-on villain unless i was really pushed to it through either manipulation or repeated injustices. 

in order to gain supernatural powers, you must first kill another person whose powers you want to inherit. do you want these powers? would you kill for them?
    there are so many variables at work here that it would take a lot of planning and consideration on my part. for example, if they're putting these powers to good use already, if they're a good person, if there's a certain way i have to kill them or if it can be by any means, and what those powers are exactly. i think i could be jealous of them for having such powers, and maybe privately wish that i possessed them, but honestly i don't know whether i could go that far. 

you enter your childhood home, and all around you there are versions of yourself who you could have become. which one are you most jealous of? which most disgusts you? are you happy with who you are now, after seeing these people?
    i genuinely don't know the answer to any of these questions. i think the idea of seeing all these different versions of myself would absolutely terrify me, and i'm a very strong believer that the opportunity to change the past is not one that should be risked and not one worth dwelling upon. the whole concept of meeting your doppelganger, or your clone, or an alternate version of you feels deeply wrong to me (i think i mentioned earlier how doppelgangers are one of my fears), and i don't think i would step into that house in the first place. if i could meet with and talk to a past/future version of myself, however, that would be a different story.

and finally: how are you?
    right this very minute? i'm doing pretty well, or as well as you can during a pandemic, i guess. i think mostly, by now, we all just want this to be over.

thanks to everyone that asked questions, there were some really interesting ones! if you have any follow-up questions, feel free to ask them in the comments. 


See History
  • May 30, 2020 - 6:52pm (Now Viewing)

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  • outoftheblue

    replying: while I can't put my finger on the kind of music the mountain goats play, I can't thank you enough for introducing me to them. <3
    (also, just curious since you're a lovely, talented writer and WtW vet, how long have you been on here?)

    4 days ago
  • fatpanda

    replying: i usually just put bikini kill on shuffle while i'm art-ing because i like the loudness, so i don't know much about specifics. someone i know is a huge fan though, and she says that a good place to start is 'the first two records' and 'p*ssy whipped', although she feels that the production on the second one is a bit 'shite'.
    'mr brightside' led me to the killers but i stayed for all their other songs lmao

    4 days ago
  • poetri

    i agree wholeheartedly about hemingway stories just feeling like a waste of time. like i get they're popular but hm...they're just not very plot driven if you ask me

    5 days ago
  • fatpanda

    oop i meant vibes

    5 days ago
  • fatpanda

    all your answers were so interesting, your vines are immaculate, and i think your dream house is pretty much my dream house, too.
    also sksks my taste in music is pretty bad, but recently i've been trying to expand it?? so far i really like the killers and bikini kill, the sex education soundtrack is really good, too
    i really enjoyed reading your answers uwu

    5 days ago
  • outoftheblue

    replying: thanks so much for clearing that up! there's a lot of wtwers that use they/them pronouns, and i absolutely want to address them respectfully. i play the piano (since 2014) and the ukulele (since 2016). i've honestly always wanted to pick up bass guitar or even violin :)

    7 days ago
  • outoftheblue

    Replying: just read through this entirely, and I have to say impeccable music taste!
    just noticed the pfp also ahahaha.
    (sorry for this but-am I using pronouns right?)

    8 days ago
  • outoftheblue

    oh wow, flute and guitar!
    how long have they been playing?

    8 days ago
  • outoftheblue

    oh also, which instruments do they play?
    just curious hehe.

    8 days ago
  • outoftheblue

    replying: hey, thanks so much! :)
    indie rock recs: the decemberists, andrew bird, haim, quail and florence+the machine are some of mine :)
    what about theirs?

    8 days ago
  • Anha

    may 2020 wtw highlights are live, and you're in them!

    30 days ago
  • Anha

    it'd be a lie to say that i didn't know you were a bloody interesting person (just from reading the way you write) but these insights into who you are as a person really takes the cake. i asked some really weird questions and your responses were everything i wanted and more. i'll be taking notes on your music recommendations - i need to broaden my tastes for sure. i've only listened to the first few episodes of the magnus archives but i'm already severely creeped out so i think i'll just read the transcripts and save myself the anxiety that comes from listening to the voice of johnathan sims. i'll be looking out for your lighthouse story - i have no doubt it will be incredible.

    about 1 month ago
  • sunny.v

    this is like barely on topic but your response to anha’s holy sword question is so funny in the way how i answered it, which was: “foot long Chicago style hot dog.” i just found the contrast very comical lol

    about 1 month ago